"Where are we going?" She asked. It was dark and they were in the car.
"It's our anniversary, we are going somewhere special." He whistled happily and drove toward the airport. Olivia began to tense, a million reasons why she couldn't leave were popping up all around her.
"I can't leave, I've got calls, training, sales-" She looked around for an escape, but what was she going to do? Jump out of the car?
"Wasn't the whole point of this job to be flexible and not tied down by hours? I think you put in way more time doing sales anyways."
"I know, but I need time to prep and Susan—"
"I talked to Susan and Mulligan and everyone, a weekend and then you're back, a weekend of doing nothing with me." He put his hand out and she took it.
"I'm not good at doing nothing."
A year had gone by since that night in the jacuzzi and he'd asked her to be his girlfriend, it didn't seem like a year, all the time apart had something do with that. Olivia never thought she'd be here. Not in Southie, not with Benny, not running a gym. Part of her longed for the old neighborhood, but it wasn't the same anymore.
"Where'd you go?" He asked, his window was down, he handed her a white parking ticket and pulled into the short term parking lot.
"Just thinking—Crawford, are you sure about this? About me and us? I mean a year, a year!" She stabbed at the button and rolled down her window, letting the cool air rush in. He looked worried and snagged the first parking spot he saw, then turned off the car.
"What brought this on? It's just Hawaii for a couple of days—there goes the surprise." It felt like two million degrees in the car, she opened the door and got out.
"I had an abortion." She said calmly and leaned over the car, putting her forehead on the cool metal. There was no sound coming from the other side.
"When?"
"In February, when you were in New York, when my IUD was all screwed up. I was like four or five weeks pregnant and I freaked out, scheduled it before I left the doctor that day." She couldn't look up, slow footsteps scraped over the asphalt and stopped next to her.
"Why wouldn't you tell me?" He asked in a low, dark voice. Her body was trembling.
"I panicked, I had to get the —bab—it out of me, we didn't want that, we planned to not do it!"
"So why wouldn't you tell me? Look at me!" He demanded fiercely.
"Because you would care too much, it would have hurt you—"
"Like this doesn't hurt? Tell me one time since we've met that I've forced you into something or given you any impression I'd be mad at something like this?"
"I just couldn't have it inside of me for another second, it was all wrong." She just kept staring at the PureSide logo on the front of his shirt.
"Would having a baby with me be the worst fucking thing? I know I'm not goddamn Benny Hagen-"
Olivia looked up at him finally, "I'm not meant to be a mother, not in that way, it's not about Benny at all."
"I had a right to know." He fired at her and slapped the roof of his car, the sound echoed in the parking lot.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"You know what I would have done? I would have supported whatever decision you wanted to make, just like I always have. I would have had a baby with you if that's what you wanted, and I understand why you don't and I would have supported you too. Been there for you. And the fact that you did it without even hesitating to call me feels pretty shitty! You lied to me!"
YOU ARE READING
I choose me.
General Fiction"I choose me" follows the story of Olivia Granger , her life from an orphan, to an athlete and business owner, to a woman whose life turns in a direction she never ever thought it would go, a direction she never even knew could exist. It is a hear...
