I was 5 and he was 10 when I first saw him.
"Ate, sino yan?" Sabay turo ko sa batang lalake na nakatambay sa punong mangga. Tila ba wala siyang pake sa nakapalibot sa kanya. Nasa hawak niya lamang ang buong atensiyon niya.
"That's Moie Ozias Estevan. Anak ni Tita Yvonne and tito philip." Saad ni ate. And that moment. I fell inlove.
I was 13 and he was 18 when i decided to run away from home and start to the work for them.
"I'm sorry ate. Aalis na po ako." Nagmamadaling saad ko sabay kuha sa mga maletang dadalhin ko.
Worry plastered at my cousin's face. Puno pa ng pawis ang buong mukha niya habang tinutulungan ako sa pagalis.
Bago pa ako makalabas sa gate ay nahagilap ni ate ang braso ko at pinaharap niya ako sa kanya.
"Then where are you going to stay? Iris, alam mo, pwede ka namang dumito nalang." Umiling ako saka tinanggal ang pagkakahawak ni ate.
"No. I can do this on my own. I'll just go to lola mama's house and work for her. In that way i can provide both." Saad ko.
Pain crossed her face. May dinukot siya sa bulsa niya bago ibinigay sa akin.
"These is your credit card. Thats a golden card wala yang limit. Use this." Tumango naman ako .
And at that same night ay kumatok ako sa mismong pinto ng Hacienda Estevan. Makatapos ang ilang katok ay agad akong sinalubong ni Lola Mama.
She hugged me and let me stay. Sinabi ko lahat. That i wanted to be away from the family, to become an independent one. Tumango si Lola mama at she said na pwedeng-pwede ako rito. She even disregarded the thought na magtratrabaho ako. Pero sabi ko gusto kong magtrabaho, she said after i graduate in collage ay magiging kaagapay ako ni Lola Mama sa kompanya. I knew it doesnt make sense. Ayaw ko sa amin but dito naman ako kina Lola Mama, it's still the same.
At dahil malayo ang hacienda sa paaralan ay kina Tita ako pinatira ni Lola Mama. Panganay na anak ni Lola Mama si Tita Yvonne. Malugod naman akong tinanggap ni tita. She said that she always wanted a daughter kaya sobrang saya niya nung oras na yon.
I was 15 and he was 20 when i fell inlove with him but he didn't feel the same way.
"Mahal kita, Ozias! Mahal na mahal!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. Nakaluhod na ako sa harapan niya. Umalingaw-ngaw ang boses ko sa buong lugar.
Hindi ko na alintana kung nasa tuktok kami ng bundok. Wala na akong pake kong may makakarinig man sakin o makakita sa ginagawa ko. All i know kailangan niyang malaman yung nararamdaman ko.
He looked at me and and smiled bitterly. Tiningnan niya ang damit niya na pareho sa damit ko. Walang pagaalinlangan na hinubad niya yon at tinapon sa harap ko.
" I never knew you were this desperate. You came way up then this down." Tumawa pa siya ng pabalang.
"Put this is mind, you may have the same standard as me, same fame, same position and whatsoever. You will never be worth of me. You will never be worthy of a man of my caliber." He said bago umalis. Napatanga ako sa sinabi niya.
I was 16 and he was 21 when suddenly he became interested with me.
"You're beautiful. Kahit sa anong anggulo tingnan. Maganda ka, gaia."
Those flowery word made my heart beat rapidly. Hindi ko mapigalan na mapangiti sa sinabi niya.
"Bolero." Komento ko. He just laughed.
"Hindi, ah. Seriously, you really look so beautiful. Kaya, pwede ba kitang yayain mamasyal mamaya?" Aniya. He even looked away, napatawa naman ako.
"Speed." Bulong ko bago humalagpak ng tawa.
Hearing what I just said, he looked at me seriously and touched my cheeks.
"No, its because i like every part of you. I like you."
I was 17 and he was 22 when he courted me and i said yes. That was the happiest time.
I looked at the man kneeling infront of me. His eyes were begging.
"Yes." I said. He quickly looked at me with shock evident in his eyes.
He ran to me and hugged me so tight. Causing everybody in the room to shout in joy. He looked at me and held both my hands.
"Is it really a yes? Girlfriend na kita?" Tumango naman ako. He hugged me at pinaikot niya ako sa ere.
He shouted and bragged about it to his cousin. Bago siya humarap sa akin at hinalikan ang noo ko.
"I love you."
I looked at him and uttered the same thing.
"Me too, i love you."
I was 19 and he was 24 when he decided to break me and my heart.
Kakatapos lang ng graduation ceremony at nakikita ko na sina Tita Yvonne sa baba. She was waving at me. Beside her was the man i love.
Kaya kahit na madami ang nagkukumpulang tao ay nagsikap ako na lumapit sa kanila.
He was standing so gorgeous in his white polo tucked in his black pants. I smiled at him and run to him to give him a tight embrace.
Pero ng yayakapin ko na siya ay may mas naunang yumakap sa kanya. Standing infront of me was a girl with golden brown hair, she looked mestiza. She kissed Ozias in the lips. Shocking not just me but also his family.
Kaya kahit masakit ang loob ko i tried my best to approach them.
"Sino siya?" I asked.
He looked at me and i hated the way he looks at me. He looked, guilty.
And the moment he uttered those words, is the moment i chose to stay out of his life.
I was 28 and he was 33 when fate decided to play with us.
"Dra, someone's looking for you." Nilingon ko ang secretary ko and told her to let the visitor in.
"Hija." Napatayo ako ng makita si tita.
"Yes, maam? How may I help you?" Despite the nervousness i felt, i tried my best to sound professional.
Tita looked at me sadly, she held both of my hands. Then she started crying.
"Hija, my son needs you. Kailangan ka niya, anak.
So , please. Help him. He needs you, gaia. He really does."
Why would his son need help?
The moment i agreed on his condition, is the moment i let my heart be opened agaim.
But then I thought about what he last said, after so many years.
Am i now a woman worthy of his Caliber?
