Prodigy || Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader

[6] Confessions

To be completely honest, Ushijima disliked you.

He thought you were rude, disrespectful and stubborn. But there were times when you were encouraging and kind. Really, he was mostly just confused by you. He couldn't seem to tell if you hated him or not.

One minute you both could be arguing about something and the other, you would be showering him with compliments.

It hurt his head, but he couldn't seem to get you out of his mind.

Unable to focus on schoolwork, he decided to take a light jog that night, and as he passed by the gym, he noticed the lights on and the sound of balls hitting the floor. He was confused, wondering who could be practicing at this hour.

And when he peeked, he saw you.

This was the second time he caught you like this. The first time, he had looked for you to apologize for what he said, and noticed you running towards the gym. However when he arrived, he only saw you weeping on the floor, followed by Coach Washijo coming inside and giving you a pep talk. He decided it wasn't a good idea to interrupt.

At the current moment, he saw you lying down on the floor, tossing the ball into the air with light movements. He could conclude you were definitely good with the ball and had the skills indeed. He didn't know about your backstory until quite recently, when Tendou was making conspiracy theories about why you left your previous school. The team finally filled Ushijima in on what they knew. They were however, too afraid to ask you for clarification.

He walked in and spoke.

You were just having another one of your depressed moments. You had recently seen that your old team had succeeded in securing a place at Nationals for their Inter High. You saw their smiles and laughter, and were filled with despair. And hence, you came to the gym to calm yourself down by hitting a few serves. You lay on the floor, watching the ceiling, when a voice woke you up from your trance.

"What are you doing here?" Ushijima asked.

You looked at him then turned to look up at the ceiling again. You couldn't even bother jumping or getting scared for getting caught. Right then, you had little to no emotion for anything else. You just felt – empty.

"Contemplating life. What about you?" you said.

He narrowed his brows but answered, "I went for a jog."

You finally sat up from the floor and faced him. "I'm sorry about the mess. I'll clean it up." You got up and began to approach the scattered balls on the other side, picking them up one by one.

Ushijima didn't know how to react to you. You were so different from how you were in the evening and the day before that. He didn't know what to do, but for some reason, he didn't want you to go just yet.

"(L/n)-san," he called you.

You turned to look at him, eyes full of despair. He noticed this too, a gaze you held – the gaze of someone who was broken.

"Can you toss the ball to me?" he asked you.

Your eyes widened. "W-what?"

"I want to spike a little. Can you toss a few balls to me?"

Your eyes began to tear just a little. You hadn't played properly for what felt like forever. You avoided any kind of contact with the sport, except recently, ever since you got recruited. And even since then, the most you've done is serve on your own. This – this was a whole new thing. And yet, this was exactly what you yearned.

You smiled, "Yes."

You didn't do much at all. You didn't toss the ball like a setter, but just as a practice partner. You didn't use skill, or thinking, or anything like that.

But as you watched Ushijima you smiled. As annoying as he can be at times, you couldn't deny he was an extremely good player. And especially, you couldn't deny that you loved watching him play.

After one too many tosses, he finally stopped. "It's nearing curfew. We have to head back."

You nodded, going to the other side of the court to clean up the court, picking up the balls as Ushijima lowered the net.

As you picked them up, you initiated a conversation. "Ushijima-san," you called.

"Yea," he replied, watching you.

You asked, "Do love volleyball?"

He looked at you strangely. It was an obvious answer, "Of course."

You asked, "Do you think you can ever love anything more than volleyball?"

He narrowed his brows, but answered again, "I don't think that's possible."

You looked at him with an intense gaze, your eyes staring into his soul. For a moment, he felt his heart race and something funny in his stomach. It was confusing. You said, "I think, you should find something to love other than volleyball."

You breathed, "Because in the unlikely case that anything unfortunate happens, and you can't play it anymore, at least you won't be so lost."

You continued, "That – is my biggest regret yet."

Ushijima looked at you concerned, eyes widened by your last statement. He wondered what you meant, but by then, you had already left.

~X•X•X~

You woke up and recalled your mood last night, and the story you told your captain. You groaned, wondering why on earth you decided to spill the beans like that. You hoped he had forgotten about it, but let's be real.

At practice, you caught him. "Ushijima-san," you called, to which he looked at you.

Something was different about his gaze. Before this, he looked at you with empty eyes, the kind that was unaffected by anything, but now, somehow it was different. There was a slightest hint of emotion in his gaze.

"Forget everything I said yesterday. I say weird things when I'm on my period."

He was frozen, as was anyone who walked past and heard your conversation. Why on earth were you so blunt?

"Oh," he replied.

You left, but Tendou immediately approached Ushijima. "What on earth did she say? Did she confess to you or something?"

"No," Ushijima replied, "But I might know why she left Hanawari."