[22] Regrets

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You were still cringing in the morning.

"Why the hell did I do that?" you asked yourself, stuffing your face into your pillow and screaming loudly.

Lucky for you, your roommate had left and pretty much most of the female dorms had already been cleared. You groaned in frustration, feeling like kicking yourself any time you recalled the memory. You had to clear the dorms by midday and you were nowhere near finished packing.

You didn't feel like going anyway.

You had planned to wait out till the very last minute that you had to leave, in hopes that by then, you wouldn't bump into anyone – especially Ushijima. But as you dragged your suitcase away from the dorms, heading for the exits, lo and behold, he was right there, as if waiting for you.

"Kill me," you murmured, hoping the universe would do it considering it seemed better than dying of embarrassment right there and then.

"(L/n)-san," he called.

You froze. For a moment, you thought of ignoring him – pretending like you didn't see him, despite him literally being in front of you. You acted as if you had a phone call, which was obviously fake seeing as you 'picked up a call' without it even ringing.

Once you passed him, he just snatched your phone away from you, causing you to get pissed, "Hey! Give that back!"

Ushijima held the phone high above his head, stretching his arms mighty high. You tried to reach it, stretching your arms high up too, but of course you didn't win. You didn't even try to jump – it was defected anyway – no good could come of it. You groaned, "This is bullying."

"Please," he said, "About last ni-"

"AHHH NO! Please stop talking!" you cut him off immediately, "Listen, I'm sorry. I don't know what got over my head. That ball just probably hit me a little too hard. I-I was just confused, okay? It meant nothing."

His heart dropped. It meant nothing. Here he was, having waited for the past half an hour for you to tell you he was sorry for turning away, and to finally fess up what he had felt for you for the past few months. But all those plans were shattered.

"Oh," he replied.

You sighed, "Please, can we just forget it ever happened?"

He calmly replied, "Sure." He handed you back your phone, which you slowly accepted.

You breathed, "I'm sorry for always making you feel uncomfortable. I promise, I won't do it again."

He nodded, "Right."

"Enjoy your summer break, Ushijima-san."

"Wakatoshi," he said, "you can call me Wakatoshi."

You scoffed lightly, "Ushijima-san." Like that you walked out the exit, leaving him with the bitter taste of his own medicine.


~X•X•X~


Ushijima regretted everything.

He thought that if he had turned you away, it would be less distracting but right then, you were all he could think about. He couldn't stop dreaming about that moment in the gym, when your lips brushed against his. It took all of his energy not to press his lips on yours, and the thought of it haunted him.

He couldn't stop thinking about Inter High Nationals either, particularly the incident before the Inarizaki match, where he had taken the chance to touch you. He recalled your expression, eyes widened, red tint on your cheeks and you just seemed so innocent.

He went back to his archived memories, thinking about how blunt you always were with him — how you were never afraid to challenge him. While most people often were intimidated by his exterior, you were so different from that.

And he was just about loving the idea that perhaps you were proof that there was someone out there who could bring out his inner self — the parts he never knew had existed before.

He was falling hard for you, or perhaps, just falling. And it hurt so bad.

He buried his face in his hands, groaning in frustration.

All this time, his attention had only ever been in volleyball but for the very first time, that wasn't all that clouded his thoughts anymore.

Can we just forget it ever happened?

Unfortunately for him, that was downright impossible.

______________________________

a/n

double oops?

my heart is breaking too guys :'(
i'm sorry for doing this to yall 

but what's life without a few ups and downs right?

it'll be worth the wait i pwomise ><

anyway happy early summer break everyone! (or winter, depending on where you are)

unfortunately i still have uni assessments due in order pass my first year good god pray for my soul

i hope i can finish this book before shit gets real hAh hAh

love u guys ;_;

- indie

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