With Death Etched In My Heart

Chapter 2: Glass bottles and Razors

Mehhhh ;-; look guys I'm new. I know that a lot of people arn't reading, but I hope people will. I love writing stories, but I need encouragment c: please let me know what you think. This story should be a bit longer then anticipated, because I have so much I want to put in it, so enjoy c;

I woke up, my head throbbing. I don't remember anything, I realized. Nothing. Well, nothing thats happened recently anyways. I jumped up, only to feel a sudden nasea, and laid back down. I looked aorund, wondering where I was. Then, I heard a voice. 

"Asher, Asher? Are you awake?"

Greattttt.... Just woke up, not in the mood. GO AWAY!!!

I moaned, then responded. "I'm awake..."

I heard footsteps aproach the bed I was laying on, and felt a smooth, cold hand on my forehead.

"Asher, honey. Are you okay? A girl brought you in here a couple hours ago, saying you blacked out in the hallway. Do you remember that?" I didn't recognize who the woman that was speaking was. Of course I didn't, I couldn't remember anything.

"Um, I'm sorry ma'am but I'm not sure what youre talking about. I don't even know how I got here." I mumbled.

She looked at me with the strangest look, and shrugged. 

"You must have a slight concusion. No worries though, it should be cleared in a few days. Until then, I need you to call your parents, and have them pick you up." She smiled, as if there wasn't a care in the world.

My heart began to beat faster. Call ma parents? Was this woman out of her mind? If mom found out about this, she'd tell dad. And if dad knew.... I... Wasn't going to come back to school in one piece...

"I don't think that's necessary, I'm fine. I just can't remember some things." I got up, feeling slightly less nauseous then before. My feet landed on the ground. I felt my body tense, preparing to run for it.

"Asher, Please, layt back down. In your conditions, you don't need to be moving around." She moved closer, trying to urge me to lay back.

Then, I bolted. I ran through the room, running into carts of medical equipment, and stumbling on the way. The door came into view, and I ran through through it, heading down the hallway I came into. 

"ASHER!!!" I hear the lady call from behind.

I'm not going back, I can't have mom knowing what happened....

I smiled as I came to a walk, slightly out of breath. My head was spinning slightly but i shook it off. I was always a decent runner. I had to be. Some nights, dad came home drunk out of his mind, and he chase me around the house with a broken bottle of whiskey. So i had to grow to be quick. 

I touched the scar just above my back dimples, remebering when I wasn't so fortunate to escape from dad.

_______Flashback_____ Age 14

I was sitting on my bed, when the door slammed open, and the fowl stench of alcohol flowed through my room.

Dad stood in the doorway, looking at me with hate. "Get up faggot." He snarled at me

I shivered. Dad was frightening when he was drunk. He was mean.... And hateful. He changed from someone normal to a monster with just a few drinks.

"HURRY!!" He roared.

I scurried from my bed, and kneeled over, to dad's feet. I felt him knock me in the head, sending me across the floor of my room. "You're stupid, Y'knowww?" He slurred, drunkily.

I whimpered. 'N-no dad..."

He leaned over, grabbing a fistful of hair.

"What was that?" Then, he cracked his bottle over my head.

Seering pain rushed around my body, and I went blind. I let out a cry, and was slapped in the mouth.

"I'm going to kill you. I swere to Gooooodddd, I'm gonnna kill you." 

Dad said this often, and I wasn't sure what he'd do. But all I knew was, I needed to run.

I jumpoed up, feeling woozy, and shoved dad. He stumbled, and yelled "Damnit!"

I ran down the stairs, and heard him pound his way down after me. I frantically searched aorund looking for somewhere to go.

Dad burped and bellowed. "I'm cominggggg for you sonnn..."

Panicking, he came closer. I bolted to the bathroom, but tripped over an astray shoe. Dad must not have been far behind me, because the next minute I knew, I felt blood pooring from my back, and the bottle was sticking from my body. I screamed, tears flooding my eyes. "DAD!"

I pleaded for him to stop. "Daddy please! Stoip, you're hurting me!" 

He looked at me with disgust and hate. He never looked at me with love, or desire to be a father. No, He wanted to kill me. I was a mistake he made when he was far too young and far too drunk. Everyday dad reminded me I wasn't suppossed to be here, alive...

He laughed, and whiped spit from his mouth. "Does it look like I give a damn? No. You deserve this pain Y'knowww. 'Bout as much as I feel looking at you every damn day." 

As dad rambled on, I slipped my hand to my back, grabbed the handle of the bottle and yanked. Blood gushed from the gash, and I cried out. Hands shaking, I chucked the bottle at my dad. It hit him square in the head. With a yell, he fell, and blacked out.

I stared down at his sleeping body, and cried. I cried for how unhappy I made him and mom. I cried about everything.

With tears streaming down my face, I made a decision that night. I walked into the bathroom.

Opening the cabinet, I pulled out two straight razors. My hands shook, and tears still streamed down my face, soaking my neck. I looked in the mirror at myself. Dad was right, I was a mistake.

I looked like a reject. black streaks covered my cheeks, and neck. I had a bruised eye, and my lip was bleeding. My bottom lip trembled, and I let out more cries.

Slowly, I dragged the razor across my wrist, not enough to kill myself, but enough to bring releif.

Over and over again, I created a masterpiece up and down my arm. minutes later, blood dripped onto the floor, and soaked my shirt sleeves. I didn't care.... After all, I wasn't anyhing worth caring about. I looked in the mirror once more and read....

Worthless, Pathetic, Mistake that can be undone.

Here you guys go. Enjoy. It was short but Eh, whatever!