Why Her? (SaiDa)

32 - One Year Since I Rejected You

Dahyun POV

I look at you two trying not to cry. It seems like I really lost you.

I think I've been trying to hide it from everybody, even me, for a long time. I'm not in love with Momo.

I had to lose you to realize that I love you.

I know now how you felt when I didn't return your feelings, because you're not returning mine now.

I should be happy because you finally found someone that loves you. However I'm not.

I think it's too late to confess to you know. I should have done it before, because now I'm doing it in a wrong time.

We're not even friends anymore, because you decided it would be the best thing for us. And I respect your decision, but it's hurting now.

It hurts me to know you're happy with her and not with me like you could have been.

It hurts me to know that she's the reason why you're smiling today, not me.

It hurts me to know that you don't love me the way you did anymore, but now I do love you like you loved me.

It hurts me to know that she's your girlfriend and not me.

It hurts me to see you hugging and kissing her when it could be me.

It hurts me to know that I wasn't there when you came out to your parents, but it was her.

It hurts me to know that we won't be together in the future and I won't see your beautiful face in the morning.

If I wasn't so afraid of loving you, I would have realize it before.

I would have realize that I already liked you before you told me your feelings, but I thought I was just going to move on.

You thought it would be hard for you to move on, but it's even harder for me to move on now.

I could ask you why you chose her instead of me. I could ask you why you love her instead of loving me, but I already know the reason and it's me.

Minatozaki Sana, I love you so much.

I wish I could be your girlfriend.

I cry while I'm writing the whole letter. A letter that you will never read, but I'm still writing it.

Maybe I still have hope that one day I will have the courage to give you this letter. I still hope that you are in love with me.

But how could it be possible? It's been one year since I rejected you.