Why Her? (SaiDa)

51 - Behavior

Sana POV

The bell rings and I pack my things. It was my last class so now I can go home and rest.

When I leave the classroom, I get scared by Momo, who was waiting for me outside the classroom. She laughs at me and I roll my eyes.

"How's Saida today?" She asks me making me confused.

"We're fine, I guess" I answer, not knowing what she meant. "Dahyun is cool"

"Cool" Momo repeats me and laughs. "Are you serious?"

"I don't know what you're trying to do, but Dahyun and I are just friends" I explain Momo, but she doesn't seem convinced.

"You kissed her!" She exclaims, loud enough for everyone that was in the hall hear her.

"In the cheek" I correct her. "You do that to your friends"

"So you're just trying to make her think that you like her" Momo says.

"No" I say quickly. "Why would I do that, Momo? I was just acting like I did when we were friends"

"Sana" Momo calls my name. There comes a big speech. "I don't know if you remember, but when you and Dahyun were friends you were.. Going on dates? Are you going on dates again?" I shake my head. "Then you'll have to act differently"

"Why?" I ask her and she facepalms herself.

"Because Dahyun is in love with you" Momo says. "Or do you think that you rejected her and she finally moved on?"

"I don't know, Momo"

"I know how it is like to break up with someone" Momo says. "You should miss you girlfriend. But don't pull Dahyun into this"

"I won't" I say. "Why would I want to hurt Dahyun like that?"

Momo stays in silence.

Why would I want to hurt her? I just want to spend time with her. As friends of course. However maybe I'm trying to make her think that I still like her. Because I still like her. Not as a girlfriend of course. As a friend. Dahyun and I are friends and just friends.

I can't fall in love with her again, can I? That's not possible. Is it possible? I admit that sometimes I think about how would it be... How would it be if I hadn't given up on her? Would we still be together? Would we still be dating?

Why am I wondering this things? It doesn't matter now, Sana. Since I read those letters I can't stop thinking about everything in them. Maybe I feel the same way as Dahyun, because I'm asking myself the same things she asked in the letters.

"Does she really like me?" I ask Momo while I'm taking her home. She looks at me and laughs a little.

"She loves you" Momo corrects me. "Are you interested?"

"No" I answer quickly. Of course I'm not interested in Dahyun. I know my behavior is a little suspect, but I'm sure I don't love Dahyun again.

However, Momo doesn't seem to understand it and laughs at me, making me confused.

"I swear that I wanted to believe you, but you're making it difficult" Momo says. "Maybe you can lie to me, but your face can't and it says you're clearly in love with Dahyun"

"How do you know what my face says?" I ask her. "She doesn't talk, Momo"

"Sana, it's an expression" Momo explains me. "I know that your face doesn't talk"

"I'm not in love with Dahyun" I say and Momo nods finishing our conversation, because she got home.

I'm not lying about not loving Dahyun. At least, I think that I don't love her. Love is a word with a lot of meaning, but I don't know if my feelings for Dahyun have that meaning.

I don't want anyone to get me wrong. I love being with Dahyun. She makes me happier when I'm with her and I missed that. But I just ended a relationship and I don't think I'm ready to get into a new one.