Why Her? (SaiDa)

35 - Love You The Way I Shouldn't

Jihyo POV

Daniel and I are sitting on a bench. We're holding hands in silence, because no one is talking. We can only hear the people around us.

I can feel him looking at me, so I look at him too and I see him smiling. I make a confused face.

"Why are you smiling so much today?" I ask him. He starts smiling more than before.

"I'm happy in this moment" He answers my question. "Aren't you?"

"Of course I'm happy" I pause a few seconds to think about what to say next. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You don't seem to be as happy as I am" He says. "That's why I'm asking you if you're happy. I'm not asking this just because of the moment, but you've been like this since I told you how I feel about you"

"I'm happy with you" I say, trying to change his mind.

"I know you're happy" He says. "But do I make you really happy or you're just a little happy?"

"You make me really happy, Daniel" I say faking a smile. "You always did"

"You've never told me you love me" He sighs. "In almost 9 months, the time that we've been dating, you've never told me that you love me ONCE"

"Sorry" I murmur. "You know how I feel about you"

"I don't" He says. "I don't know if you love me, if you like me or if you don't even want to be my friend. Tell me how you feel about me, Jihyo, because I don't know"

I stay in silence looking for an answer, an answer that never came. Daniel tries to make contact, but I avoid it.

His hands are not holding mines anymore and he starts to get up.

"I'm sorry too, Jihyo" He says. "Don't get me wrong, I really want to be with you. However I want to know you want to be with me too. Maybe someday, when you feel ready to tell me how you feel about me, we can be together, but now I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore"

After he finished talking, he grabs his things and gets away from me.

At least Daniel had the courage to break up with me, because I didn't have to courage to admit. To admit that I don't love him the way I should. And to admit that I love you the way I shouldn't.