Hate Your Heart // zayn malik

Hate Your Heart

A/N Bare with me I have no idea about high school in England

Prologue

2007

It’s my first year of High School. My first year in Bradford. My first year in England.

I never was a social butterfly in America, I was always judged before people got to know me. I would be awkward and shy at first with people I don’t know and then I’d be myself in front of them. But before I had the time to do that they thought I was a loser, socially awkward, afraid. I guess afraid is true I’m always afraid of what people might think of me. I’m hoping that this new school will be a fresh new start. No more awkwardness, no more exclusion, no more being a loser. I’m finally have my chance to be a winner.

After my little pep talk I walk out of the car book bag hanging off my shoulder, school books in the bag and my own few little touches to the school uniform. “Have a nice a day at school Max. Have fun gorgeous!!” I smiled to my dad.

My first time walking through the school doors and I already have people judging me...

2008

I can’t wait to get out of this Hell hole already. I’ve been here one year! ONE YEAR!!! I’ve been called worthless, stupid, slut, whore, ugly, trash, rat, mole the list goes on and on. These people have no idea who I am and they judge me they say things that I’m not. They don’t know my life story they don’t know why I moved here. They have no idea about my past they shouldn’t do this to me. Maybe I should tell you some details? I have two dads. One is my step dad but not in the way you think. I have gay parents. There is nothing wrong with them they are perfectly normal they just happen to find their other half, their true love, their soul mate and their best friend. I’m not adopted because my dad Luke married my mother before he found Steve. They were in love at one stage but dad realised he wasn’t straight anymore because he wasn’t in love with mom anymore. They got a divorce ect ect.       Dad got full custody of me so I never see my mum but I don’t mind I have my reasons. My two dads were another reason kids picked on me. But name calling wasn’t all they did. I got beatings from them. No it would be wrong for me to blame all my bruises and cuts on them when it was one person not a group. The most popular guy in my year level, as soon as I saw him on my first day here I knew that when he would be the most popular by Year 13 our last year of school. (A/N I did some research). He had silky black hair either in a quiff or flat across his forehead; He had brown mysterious orbs, perfectly straight teeth and tanned skin. His name is Zain Malik. He abused me. Yes my dads did know that someone was hurting me. But I never told them who they always asked me but I just said nobody I didn’t want to tell them because if I did I was afraid he would do worse if I told someone.

2009

I thought he changed no he didn’t he was still the same old bully. I can’t believe he made me fall for him. My bully was my first kiss!!! They’re right I’m worthless in this world. They’re right I should die. I should go. Leave from all the bullying then I wouldn’t hurt anymore. No more punishment. I’ll end it now. I grab the razor and cut myself again and again on each wrist. But it wasn’t enough. I went to the medicine cabinet and grabbed a tub of pills. I swallowed one dry then two at a same time and kept swallowing them. It didn’t hurt the pain was going away. No more torture I’ll finally go. I drop to the ground with a loud thud and don’t fight the blackness that is taking over me.

2010

I failed. I failed at leaving the pain and hurt I feel every day. And now I get even more torture because of it. No one knows that Zain and I kissed I would have thought he would’ve made it look like I fell hopelessly in love with him and that I forced myself onto him. But no he doesn’t. Why? Well ‘why?’ doesn’t matter right now because it’s his last day here. I may still get called names but I will never get hit by him again. It was the end of a school and just before Zayn was about to leave before I will never see him again. I want him to suffer. Not by calling him names or hurting him, but by telling him how much I hate him. I walk straight up to him before he leaves.

“Zain” I say. He turns around and looks at me with his mysterious eyes. I can never tell his emotions it’s like he hides it all for some reason. He smirks evily and bends over to whisper in my ear

“Hey Max came to give me a good bye kiss?” He tries to be seductive I use all my power to not scoff or be disgusted. I have to get out what I want to say before I chicken out okay here it goes.

“Zain you’ve tortured me my whole time I’ve been at this school. I have no idea why. I guess I was just a n easy target. But you know what? The things you did to me hurt more than ever. You may not believe this but your words are much deeper and hurt a lot more than your beatings. I didn’t deserve to be treated the way I was. No one does.” I remove my bracelets and show him my scarred wrists. “You see this. You caused this. Cutting myself was the only thing I could do to get over your bull shit and everyone else’s your probably thinking that I want revenge. Yes but not in the way you think. I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to call you names but I am going to confess my hate to you.”

Zain was by now surprised.

“I hate the way you make me cry, I hate the way you hurt me, I hate the way you talk to me, I hate the way you build me up then tear me down, I hate the fact you think your better than everyone else and you can do whatever you want, I hate your ego and I hate that you look at me in disgust. I. HATE. YOU!” As I said this I looked him straight in the eyes. Once I was done I looked him in the eyes for a few more minutes and walked off it was the last I ever heard of Zain Malik.