Secrets are just Hidden Lies (Star Wars OC x Reader)

Chapter Four

Y/N POV

I woke up to the ear shattering sound of metal objects clanging against each other and the bickering of smugglers, sitting up immediately and igniting my saber, confused of where I was and what was going on before it all came back to me, some things quicker than others.  I let out a sigh of relief, turning it off and putting it back in my boot, leaning back into Atin as I relaxed, my heartbeat going back down to it's normal state, my epinephrine levels going back down to normal.  I felt his arms tighten around me as I calmed down, pulling my body closer to his, feeling warmth reverberate off of his muscled body.  I smiled, blushing uncontrollably under my mask, wondering if he is getting these same feelings that I am, leading my mind down a long road of worry and stress and heartbreak scenarios that I didn't really need, considering I was troubled enough as it is.  Without warning, he spoke suddenly, giving me a miniature heart attack.

"Good morning, sleep well?" he asked, petting my arm.

God, his voice, it was as smooth as the sand on Tattooine, but also had a rasp that was intimidatingly masculine, and the way he would talk to me, it was like heaven and hell all in one, it was angelic and beautiful and just so damn fine, but it would tear me up inside and make me so conflicted... but being with him was worth the pain and suffering.  I cleared my throat, giving myself enough time to think of my answer so I wouldn't sound like an idiot when I responded.

"Yeah, to be honest, I haven't slept this well in years," I answered drowsily, closing my eyes.

He snickered, his chest rising up and down in a synchronized rhythm, reminding me of the days when I was with a certain someone, relaxing in his arms in times that were stressful or terrifying, shushing me and letting me know that everything would be okay, making me feel safe when it seemed like nothing was what it seemed, raising me up when I was falling down a hole into the unknown, making me feel special when everyone told me I was scavenger scum that had no importance to the galaxy.  I pushed the thought back into my mind, tears forming in my eyes, holding them back with everything I had in me, when Atin grabbed my hand, entwining his fingers with mine as he placed his head on my shoulder, letting out a deep breath, all of those emotions of grief and sadness blowing away with the Endorian winds that oscillate inside me, smirking happily under the shield that blocked me from the terrors of the outside world.  My eyes were growing heavier, my surroundings becoming a black abyss once again until I remembered what creatures were on this planet and right outside our door... scavengers.  I shot up from my spot, determinedly walking up to the door and opening it with the force, slamming down on the ground with a loud clang as I snatched the lightsaber from my boot and clicked it, its blue beam shooting out of it.  I raced down the ramp and to the side of the ship, only to be met by a couple of children looking for parts, looking up and raising their hands like they were surrendering, their eyes filled with innocence and and heart wrenching fear. 

I lowered my sword, memories sprinting into my mind at full speed, remembering the good old days when I was just like these kids, looking for parts just to keep myself alive on this God forsaken planet, only my best friend and practically sister to accompany me in those dark and twisted times.  I softened, smiling and turning off my saber, putting it back in my boot slowly and lifting up my hands like the children were, letting them know that I wasn't a threat and that everything was perfectly safe.  They lowered their hands gradually, giving each other confused looks, probably wondering why I wasn't chasing them away and threatening them with a laser sword, but they didn't say a word, silently gawking at my masked appearance, their malnourished bodies shaking weakly.  Seeing them like that broke a part of me, wishing that those kids could have lived on a planet where they wouldn't have to work all day and night only to get morsels of food, reaching into my pocket and grabbing a tiny bag filled with about five hundred credits, tossing it to them and giving them a kind nod.  They gave me a wondering glance before looking in the bag, their eyes sparkling with excitement as their hands sifted through the coins, looking up at me with happy tears in their eyes, politely giving me a nod back before running into the distance and out of sight.