Secrets are just Hidden Lies (Star Wars OC x Reader)

Chapter Twelve

Atin POV

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I stood at the edge of a sandy town, my cape blowing in the wind beside me as I stared down the entrance of the crowded bar on Jakku, my baster hanging by my side as a reminder that whatever came my way would go down in infamy, the morals that I once carried like a crown that was meant for the king shattering into the heinous galaxy as I faced the awful truth that only the strong live and the weak perish, embracing the cruel motto for only one reason and one reason alone... I had to keep the kid alive or all hell would break loose.  My once tender heart that only wished to find love in the endless stars growing as hard ad stone, my emotionless manner the only thing protecting me from breaking every single day of this satanic cult known as balance, taking in the perilous sunset that rested in front of me, rubies and garnets twinkling across the sky like a symphony of beauty that would inevitably come to a crashing halt once dark took over the desolate sandy plains, lurking in the shadows and waiting for the weak prey that would cross its path at one time or another, the once beautiful horizon that stretched out as far as the eye could see just another sick reminder of how I had changed in the two ruthless years that I had been on my own as a Mandalorian.  The howling winds whistled in my ears like the screams of dying children begging for mercy in front of the cynical and psychotic Na'kk that now ruled the First Order alongside Snoke, secretly holding the senate in her hand like Sheev Palpatine from generations ago, her silver tongue caressing the spirits of those who had been damaged before luring them into her lair and ripping them to shreds without a drop of remorse coursing through her veins made purely from the seven deadly sins, her red eyes still haunting my dreams when I think of Celia's face that would always gently smile when I would walk into the room, her arctic eyes colder than a blizzard in the middle of winter but filled with more warmth than a hickory flame spreading like wildfire in a dense dry forest.

Celia was always quiet, analyzing every single words you said with intricate details as she stared through your soul and into your hopes and dreams, her golden curls draping over her shoulder perfectly without effort as she played with her hair, always able to attract the eyes of men as she walked by, her hips swaying back and forth like a pendulum, her breathtaking beauty wooing every man that she encountered... except for me.  I don't know why I didn't like her as more than a friend, but there was just something deep inside of me, whispering in my ear and saying that she wasn't the one I was looking for, that she wasn't the one I truly wanted, that I was still looking for the girl from my dreams that I held in my arms before being ripped apart suddenly like a cruel joke that only life was meant to get.  She was my best friend and most trusted colleague until recently when we parted ways because of how she felt about me, to her I wasn't just a friend, but a man who would hopefully in the future hold her in my arms and who kiss her to make the pain go away after I, she had fallen in love with me, but there was one problem with that... I wasn't able to return the feelings, and just like that, Na'kk came out of nowhere and murdered her in front of me, her voice still echoing in my head as she whispered out my name one last time before collapsing to the ground, her lifeless body laying in front of me with a thousand memories flashing in her dead eyes, my last words to her being some of the ones I regret the most.

I hated Na'kk with every fiber of my being, I hated the First Order and every single little piece of metal that made their ships, I hated what they stood for and what they did, I wanted to destroy them with my bare hands and watch them fall before me and feel the wrath the engulfed my soul into a pool of loneliness and guilt that kept me up at night as I cried myself to sleep pathetically, wishing I could have gone back and changed my words, that I could go back and save her from the monster that Na'kk was, destroying people's lives like they were nothing, just meaningless pawns in a game of chess.