Gone Cold - [BNHA]

-SIXTEEN-

MIDORIYA

Midoriya left the dorms after telling his friends he would be back to cheer on Uraraka after he got some fresh air. Todoroki was already outside, leaning against the side of the building, his breath coming up in clouds.

    "Hey," Midoriya said, smiling awkwardly. He wasn't looking forward to this, but it had to happen. Midoriya knew he was a bit of a jerk when they were trapped together in the Nomu's mind prison.

    "Hello, Midoriya," Todoroki gave a weak smile.

He offered his arm. Midoriya took it, so their arms were wrapped around each other's, looking like fancy party guests. To keep his hand inside the warmth of his pocket, Midoriya had to walk really close. Thankfully he could use the excuse of the current temperature for them huddling together like penguins.

"So," Midoriya said, breaking their silence.

"Right," Todoroki cleared his throat. "I wanted to apologize for what happened there. I figured out a lot of stuff in those few minutes and was a little overwhelmed."

"I should be the one that's sorry," Midoriya said. "I understand why you didn't ask me to come and I understand why it's always us."

"Why what?"

"Sorry?"

They stopped walking.

"What do you mean?"

"By it's always us?"

"I never thought about it that way," he pursed his lips. "I mean, you're right. Why is that?"

"We haven't known each other for the longest time, but we're both important to each other and we both sort of work."

"Sorry?"

Midoriya's cheeks heated up. "No, what I mean is that we complete each other."

Todoroki stared at him.

"No! Sorry, what I mean is," he did everything he could to avoid Todoroki's eyes. "What I really mean is like you had a power you didn't want and I have one I've always dreamed of having. We both know the repercussions of our own quirks, but we've helped each other deal with it."

"Midoriya, it's true that you've helped me immensely, but I don't think I've done anything for you."

"No, you have," Midoriya defended. "You're one of the reasons I want to be a hero so much."

Todoroki's ears turned red and his voice grew soft. "Really?"

"Of course," Midoriya mumbled, nodding. "Everytime I get knocked down or hurt or something fails, you help me get back up. You never stop fighting, Shoto."

Todoroki gently pulled him to a bench. They were close to the cafeteria now.

"If you feel that way, you most certainly deserve an explanation," he said. "Those few days when I was put into that nightmare coma, a lot of things were dug up about my life. Some things I didn't know about my family and some things I didn't know about myself. If it's okay, I want to tell you about everything, the family stuff, too. You know enough and I'm glad for it."

"Of course," Midoriya nodded.

Todoroki took a breath. "When I was in the coma, Dabi was hooked up to some machine, so he had influence over what the Nomu was making me see. It was a very small amount of influence, but it was just enough for me to remember that I have a third sibling who left when I was very little."

"Toya," Midoriya recalled.

"Yeah. He was able to do that because he is, or was, Toya."

Midoriya's eyes widened. "He-"

Todoroki nodded. "But I don't consider him to be anymore. He left for a reason."

"I'm just-" Midoriya searched for the right words. "Surprised."

"I am, too. But he wanted me to know, which is the part I'm most confused by."

"So Toya isn't completely gone."

Todoroki shrugged. "I guess not. But, I realized something else."

Midoriya listened intently, knowing how important this was for him.

"It's not even related to Toya. In fact, I only realized it because my brain was creating what I wanted to see and creating a sort of coping mechanism."

"Yes?" Midoriya said softly. Todoroki had stopped looking at him.

"I've known this since I was very young, but I always pushed it away because I knew my father wouldn't approve, but more importantly, I never thought I would ever get a chance like this. I never imagined having friends that cared for me, not out of pity or out of forced family ties, but genuinely cared for me and wanted to be around me. And I love all of them for it. But-" his voice faltered and he sighed at himself, standing. Midoriya stood with him so they were face-to-face, arms no longer intertwined. "I love you. In a different way. I love you so much, Midoriya."

Midoriya's heart pounded in his chest, seeking escape. He felt numb and frozen and that had nothing to do with the cold. He wished he could borrow a dream demon to pull out his real feelings. The first thing he had to figure out was if he loved Todoroki. He did.

The second thing was in which way Midoriya loved him. Platonic love was just as strong as romantic, but Midoriya didn't even fully understand who he had the potential for loving like that. When he had his huge crush on Uraraka, along with his attraction to her strength and honesty, he had an attraction to how she looked. She was soft, but strong and athletic.

Midoriya's attraction to Todoroki was just something he passed off as everyone having. Todoroki was called pretty boy a lot by their peers and they were right. He and Uraraka shared a mutual prettiness that made Midoriya blush when they stood too close.

The only huge difference was when he was attracted to Uraraka, he could find similarities between other girls he was attracted to like Hatsume and Tsuyu and even Toga. But there were no similarities between Todoroki and anyone besides a small amount of what could only be described as pretty between him and Uraraka. Instead, ignoring history and personalities, Midoriya felt the same way about Todoroki as he did with Kacchan. They both had a desirable trait that made Midoriya want to be with them, even if it was against his own better judgement.

But not even Kacchan had things that Midoriya noticed this intensely. Every little thing Todoroki did Midoriya knew about. Like, the little pout he would get on his face when being upset with a homework problem or the way he only smiled with his eyes instead of his face, so it was easy to tell when he was just being polite. Midoriya really had watched him closely.

"I'll-" Todoroki took an awkward step back. "I don't expect you to respond and I don't need you to. I know that I am not what you're, well, looking for, and I know that I've probably overstepped our friendship. I just needed you to know. No matter what, I love you."

"You're right," Midoriya said after deciding how to respond.

"Hmm?" Todoroki looked up softly.

"I don't know what to say. But that's not because of you. I think I need to spend some time thinking this over."

"Of course," Todoroki nodded. "Like I said, this isn't something I wanted to think about, that's why I'm addressing this only now. I've always loved you."

"Right," Midoriya's heart had changed speed to now going dangerously slow. Too many things were happening for him to process. He couldn't possibly watch his breath come up in clouds and admire Todoroki's eyelashes and figure out his past crushes.

"I'll walk you back."

"Right," Midoriya nodded, blank.

Todoroki offered his hand this time. Midoriya took it, their fingers lacing together. Their hands fit perfectly.