better now ➳ post malone

ch. 35

It had been a few days since the incident. Everyone had left to go back to California and I was alone with a depressed Austin who had rescheduled the next few shows of his tour. He stayed in bed, refused to eat, barely talked to me. I understood, but I wanted to help.

I was currently in the kitchen finishing the sixth meal in a row he refused to eat. I still tried everyday, just in case. I grabbed a plate and put everything on it, walking it up the stairs into our room.

When I walked in, he was sitting on the edge of the bed in just sweatpants, holding the polaroid of his mom I had made a copy of a while back.

I sat the plate down on the bedside table and sat beside him, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Everything is going to be okay," I said, patting his thigh. He pushed me off of him and stood up, looking down at me.

"I get you're trying to help, Liv, but I just really want to be left alone," he said, starting to pace the room. I was taken back because he hadn't asked for space and I had no idea I was hovering.

"Austin, don't be like this," I sighed, standing up and walking over to him, wrapping my arms around his torso. He pushed me off lightly and walked away from me.

"I just want to be alone. Please," He huffed at me and I shook my head.

"Austin-" I started but he cut me off.

"Liv, I am asking you nicely to leave me alone," He looked at me, tears rolling down his cheek.

"We're gonna get through this," I nodded at him, trying once more to step towards him.

"There is no we in this, Olivia!" He screamed with bloodshot eyes from crying. I jumped as he paced the room with his head in his hands, still holding the picture he had when I walked in. "This is my life that's being ruined! Fuck! Just leave me alone."

"Austin, stop!" I yelled back at him. "Why are you being a dick? Stop."

"Because I said leave me the fuck alone, damn it!" He said, pulling the door open harshly, causing the knob to go straight through the wall. "Get out."

"No, you asshole! We are fucking married!" I yelled, crying at this point. "Why are you self-destructing? Please calm the fuck down! I didn't even do anything to you! I'm trying to be here for you but you have made it fucking impossible the past few days."

He didn't say anything, he just stared at the ground.

"Look at me," I said, walking over to him and grabbing his face. Tears ran down his cheeks like I had never seen before. "Look at me. It's okay."

"I am so sorry," he cried, laying his head on my shoulder and sobbing. "Olivia, I am so sorry."

"Thank you," I said quietly to him as I rubbed his back. "This isn't you, Austin. I'm not supposed to be scared of you."

"No, please don't be," he shook his head, looking at me and then kissing my cheek. "I'm not mad at you, I'm sorry. I just can't stand the fact that my mom would be disappointed in me if she were here. That's not your fault, I am so fucking sorry."

"That is not true. She knows you and knows that you would never hurt anyone," I told him, pushing his hair out of his face. "You're going to get through this. I want to help but you've gotta let me in. I feel like I'm back to trying to win your approval."

"I don't want you to think that," He shook his head, sobbing at this point. "You're the most important thing in my life, don't be scared of me and don't think bad of me."

"I know this is a lot. I know you're hurting but please don't yell at me," I said softly to him as I held his hand. "I'm also going through something. I know yours is more significant but I-"

"No, don't say that," he cut me off. "This actually happened to you and I have been so selfish."

"No," I shook my head. "No, you're allowed to be hurt."

"But I've just been completely disregarding your feelings," he sniffled, squeezing my hand. "You are so important to me. I just want to keep you safe always."

"You do a great job at it," I smiled at him, pulling him in for a hug.

"I haven't and that hurts more than anything," he cried, his voice cracking. "But you are right, Liv, we are going to get through this. As a team."

"Zoe has no proof of her accusations," I told him. "Texts of you asking her to come over and that is it. She is a liar, and we are going to figure this out."

"I love you, Liv," He said, laying his head on my light grey t-shirt, leaving tear stains. "More than the universe."

"I love you more," I replied to him as I hugged him. He needed so much love right now and I couldn't give him enough. "Will you try to eat? Or let's try to take our mind off of this?"

"I can try," he nodded to me. "For you."

"Thank you," I smiled at him, kissing his nose.

He grabbed the plate off of the side table and began eating. I noticed he was shaking but it was probably from all the crying.

"Thank you for taking such good care of me, Liv," he looked at me. "I've never had this and you just- you're so good at it. I know it's not your job so thank you."

"It's not my job, but we take care of each other," I rubbed his back as I sat next to him. "Even if it's a semi-hot meal in bed."

He chuckled at me as he continued eating. I stared at him as his curls fell perfectly over his forehead. My daydreaming was interrupted by my phone ringing. I got up and walked to my side of the bed, grabbing my phone from the side table.

Unknown number.

I decided I'd answer it anyways, just in case.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Olivia?" A familiar voice responded. "Hi, it's Lily."

a/n: sorry this was a SHIT chapter (and short ugh) but i'm just trying to update some. thank y'all for being so patient. it means a lot.