"we were looking forward to the rest of our lives."
The third book in the Feel series. Austin and Olivia are older now and have their entire lives in front of them.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I look around at the party that's in full swing. All of Randy's family and all of Taylor's family are here, talking and laughing. The rest of our friend group is sitting at a table eating the brunch that is served. It took me two months and a ton of tears to plan this gender reveal party. I know I shouldn't have been upset that my best friend is pregnant, but as her pregnancy has went on, it's gotten worse.
I've beaten myself up every day for being selfish about this. I've beaten myself up for crying every other week when I take pregnancy tests. I know it isn't going to happen, yet I still try.
Austin is sitting next to me, holding my hand under the table as he talks to Quinten who has his arm around Randy's cousin who he started dating a couple of months ago. Happiness looks great on him.
Izzy and Parker are being their usual clingy selves as Parker feeds her a strawberry. Savannah is speaking to her new boyfriend, Louis, as they eat their food. And then Lily. I still cannot get over the fact her and Randy are such good friends now. And even more than that, I can't get over the fact that I actually like her.
"Hey, you okay?" Lily leans over and asks me quietly not to disrupt anyone else's conversation. I nod to her and wave her off. I don't want to talk about it. "You look upset, I just wanted to check."
"Thank you," I say to her with a small smile. She nods back to me and looks away. I sigh, deciding maybe it would be good to talk to her about it. "Actually, Lily, could you come to the bathroom with me?"
"Of course," she nods. We both get up from the white chairs and walk to the huge house that we rented for the day. Lily walks beside me, not saying anything until we reach the bathroom just inside of the house. "What's up?"
"I- I don't even know if you want to hear about my problems, but it would do me good to tell someone new and see what they have to say," I tell her as I let out a sigh.
"I know we aren't the best of friends but you can always talk to me," she says, hopping up on the sink to sit. I lean beside her on the counter and look at her.
"I have been having a silent breakdown all day because of this party," I tell her and she nods, letting me know she's listening. "I can't have babies, and Austin and I have been trying for a while now. So all of this is weighing on me very heavily. I just need to get it out."
"I am so sorry, Olivia," she sighs, shaking her head as she looks down. "Can I hug you?"
I nod to her and soon feel her arms wrapped around me. It's comforting in a way, I just never thought this would be happening- not us.
"Listen, I have a great doctor here who also specializes in infertility," Lily tells me as she pulls away. I listen as she continues. "I'm sure I can talk to her and get you scheduled before you and Austin leave California. If that's something you'd want, of course."
"I've set up so many appointments to be checked," I say to her, shaking my head as I try not to let tears spill from my eyes. "I never show up. Because if I don't know, then it's not real. If I go to a doctor, it's certain, I just know it."
