LIFE OF AN ANGEL

Chapter 8

The worst feeling ever is actually the death of your loved ones because you know you wont ever see them again.
And yes I dont regret anything. I have always wanted to give a sweet message to my loved ones before their death and I'm grateful to God that I was given a chance to say a few words to my angel before she left. 2 days before her death, I told her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her, I also said if I ever hurt her in any way, it was not my intention and i apologized for it too!
I told her not to close her eyes before my birthday but little did I know that she would close her eyes forever.
But I'm glad she didnt close her eyes on my birthday, because maybe I would hate my birthday forever!
I know death of your loved ones is a never ending pain but I know wherever she is, she is happy and not in any pain.
Shes now a complete angel with wings! She helps others and receives a bundle of joy from God. I know the God I believe in is taking good care of her because she deserves all the happiness that is being given to her in heaven.

And about me, I'll be fine too
Theres not even a second that goes by without thinking of her. I miss her every minute of my life!
But life is strange, as time goes by, your thinking changes from "oh I'll never see her again" to " I feel her presence everyday!"
And I didnt fail when I fought with God for her to be there with me during each and every stage of my life, because I know she is watching over me!
She will still watch me be successful and also watch me get married, so dear God, you lost on this one!

She might be dead for others, but shes never dead to me! Spirits never die and shes alive in my heart and mind too!
I may have not fulfilled my promise of taking her to beautiful places from my own salary but I'd like to thank my dad for taking her to beautiful places from his salary and showing her the beauty of life and obviously my grandad for capturing beautiful pictures of me and her enjoying life! And obviously she's now seen places that words even failed to describe! As it is, heaven beats earth!
And you know what proves she is an angel?
Well her birthday =5th November
         Her deathday= 5th April
And her anniversary= 5th June
Which means she had some kinda connection with the number 5 which is considered an angel number!

I see my angel everyday in a beautiful white dress with a bun and a light that cant be described in words! I feel more connected to her and feel her presence everyday. Sometimes it feels like I'm hallucinating but even if I am, it's the best feeling ever to see her even if my mind creates it!

I'd like to thank her for coming as an angel in my life and changing it in an amazing way. Grandma, you taught me the true meaning of love. I didnt ever know I could love someone so deeply and unconditionally. Thanks for teaching me the meaning of selflessness. Thanks for teaching me that attachment and love are different things and that love sets you free!
Thank you for teaching me how to live life in moments not hours!
Thanks for also teaching me how to be strong enough to face ups and downs in life and finally thanks for teaching me that everything in life is temporary, infact we all are too! You gave me moments that I can never describe in words. You changed me into a fine and marvelous human being! I would give you all the credits!
If I ever help strangers and other people in my life, it's all because of the values you gave me!
If I ever bring a smile on anyone's face,its all because the values you gave me!
And I promise you, I'll keep helping others the way you did!
And also promise you, that I will be a successful human being and make you proud!

I have always loved you the most, and I will continue to love you the most forever! Keep resting in heaven my angel....this was a soul connection I had with you and my heart will always keep this beautiful truth inside it.
These are the memories I'd cherish forever. 

I dont regret anything to be honest, because I have never fought with my grandma, but truly given her all the love she deserved and she did the same thing! Yes, sometimes I cry my heart out and my heart permits me to remove a cluster of tears away. And for all those reading this, who cry alot like me, i want to remind you that crying does not make a person weak! It's a way of removing your emotions which actually makes you strong. So let those tears flow, cry as much as you want! I'm glad my heart let's me cry. Its hearts job to permit me to love someone or cry my heart out and I love it for always letting me do what I want. Just let that sink in! And always remember you dont need that physical touch in love when you have your heart to feel their presence!

And for those reading this, thanks for letting me express myself!
I wrote this story for two reasons. The first reason is to express my pain and happiness as writing is a way for me to express myself and second reason is to inspire those who may be going through such hard times in life.
I hope this story inspired you!
Thank you!