In This House // BTS Mafia au

Chapter Thirty-Seven

There's times in your life where you have to let go of things, Jungkook.

You let go of your old life. The life that was spent baked in your bedroom or on a street corner. The life spent alone. And that was okay. It was scary to change things, to actually commit to something. But Monster taught you well. You let go of pain, Jungkook. Pain and loneliness. 

Let go.

You were forced to let go of Jimin, not that you ever really did. He's always in your thoughts. Just now, you thought about avenging him, Letchner's boot clamped on your lungs. You can't help but hold on to the feelings of anger and sadness and vengeance. But still, physically, you had to let go of him. His late night talks. His hugs. His laugh. The way he danced  in the kitchen when Taehyung drummed his hands on the table. The way he described springtime in the city. You let go of your best friend because you didn't have a choice, and it hurt. But, you

let go.

Now's the final test. The blackness has settled in. It's over. You didn't get to say goodbye, Jungkook. But once again, there's only one choice. You have to let go of them.

Of Bangtan. Of Miyeon.

Of yourself.

So do it all now. Before the thoughts stop with the rest of your body. 

Thank Hoseok for being the light of your life, of everyone's life. Thank Jin for his goofiness, his cooking, his constant guidance. Thank Yoongi for his wisdom and devotion to helping you, no matter how many times you fucked up. Thank Taehyung for always being kind, always being trustworthy, always being a friend you looked up to. Most of all, thank Monster for being your leader. He was the father and idol and role model, the one who's ever believed in you when you were nothing. Thank him with your entire heart.

Miyeon. Somewhere in the room is Miyeon. Don't waste your final thoughts on guilt. Just imagine she's with you, and you can finally say it all.

Miyeon, you cut into my world so randomly and quickly that I hated you. You disrupted the general order of the family, and you were so goddamn stubborn all the time, it was such a nuisance taking care of you. You're just a smartass, crazy, kid from the streets....

And I love you. 

I think we grew up together, and for once, I felt like I had someone to relate to. Of course Bangtan has my best friends in it, but nobody like you. You and I had to mature to get used to each other. And we must have learned a lot through all this -- we've both fucked up so many times collectively. We're a mess. But there's nobody I'd rather beat at cards games, nobody I'd rather ramble to, nobody I'd rather sleep next to. 

I wouldn't trade anything in the world to grow up with someone else. Not even more time on Earth. Sure, it's over for me now, but that's okay. 

Thank you for working with me. You were a perfect gang sister. And I'll always  turn the lights off for when you sleep, even in heaven, or hell, or wherever I'm going. Just don't meet me there anytime soon -- stay with Bangtan for a long time. They'll take care of you, like they did with me. 

And never stop fighting. You're good at that, you prick.

Goodbye, Miyeon.

Is all said and done, Jungkook? Can you die peacefully? It's hard to tell, but it feels right.

So it's time. Thank you for this life, Jungkook. For the most part, it was pretty cool. 

Time 

to

let

go.

"Jungkook! Jungkook please wake up, please, please....."