those boys - Alejandro Rosario & Mattia Polibio

do i care?

We all stood by the lockers deciding what to do next. "I don't care what we do just decide!" I say leaning against the locker.

"YOO WHAT IS THAT!" Robert says pulling down on the top of mattias hoodie to reveal... a hickie? A hickie that's been there but looks as if it's ready to fade. My heart drops completely into my stomach. I never gave him a hickey... I know that for a FACT I didn't do that... and even if I did it still would've been purple since I've come back like three days ago only?? Tears starts to form before I completely remember... I don't need a man anyways. He made it completely clear we were JUST FRIENDS. It still hurts though, but I'm not showing him how hurt I am. Kairi noticed my discomfort so he tries to change the subject, "Wait so McDonalds?" He says.

"Yea jeez what is that." I say also pulling at his hoodie as he swats at my hand. "It's nothing chill." Mattia practically says annoyed.

"Damn who gave you that? Jenna or Alexa haha." Ale says as him Robert and Kairi laugh.

"Yea I'm wondering who? Actually who even is Alexa? Jeez you have a list don't you?" I say laughing as they all laugh not knowing what I know. "Stop mae." Mattia says as I shrug my shoulders. "What? A player is a player? And if he's my friend I wanna know?" I giggle standing up straight. "Anyways I'm down for McDonald's. SHOT GUN IN ALES CAR!" I say pushing past Mattia as Kairi speeds up to me and we all walk out of school laughing EXCEPT MATTIA.

"Did you give that to him??" Kairi asks confused.

"Hell fucking no."

"Really?? Are you not mad??"

"It hurts honestly but he made it clear we were just friends anyways."

"Damn I'm sorry mae."

"Don't be sorry. I never needed him like that anyways." I say as I shrug my shoulder and we both wait for Alejandro to get to his car. Mattia looks at me with sorry in his eyes as I just turn smiling and getting into ales car with the windows down. We blast music not thinking about anything, "I missed this, seems like I never talked to you all day." Ale says as I agree with him. "Well that's changing right now." I say as I threw my hand over his shoulder and we walked into McDonald's. Mattia stays quiet after how embarrassed he was now.

I obviously act like nothing happened because I mean? I don't wanna look dumb. We all knew he was a player but I thought it'd be different. Dumb of me but it's whatever. "Can you let me pay for once?" I say as I push Alejandro out of the way and pay for our meal.

R: dude there's a party this weekend
K: for real? Who's throwing?
A: I'll bet you it's AKG
R: yuuppp
M: who's akg?
A: Alex kourn gomel, he throws the best party's in Passaic.
M: woww
R: mattia you been really quiet
Ma: my stomach hurts shut the fuck up
R: okay jeez
M: do you want water?
Ma: no thanks...
M: okay... anyways are like we all going or?
K: duuhh
M: alright bet
K: Robert doesn't drink so he's gonna be our designated driver
M: what makes you think I drink?
K: do you?
M: you got me. Just kidding I don't... anymore haha
A: whatever as long as I get home safe, you coming mattia?
Ma: huh what? Um I'll see...

He says acting weird. All I literally did was offer him water. Honestly I'm over the fact he may have hooked up with someone while I was gone. I really could care less now.

"I'll be right back." I say going to use the bathroom. (Public bathrooms are gross I can't omg...)

When I finish up and walk out I run into... Rowan. "Oh hey!" I say as he waved at me. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Oh I just came with my friends, you?"

"Just have to pick up food for my little brother."

"Oh how sweet." I say playing around as I nudge at his shoulder.

"Well I'll see you at school then." I say walking off before he turns back around and calls at me. "Maybe we can plan to hang out maybe?" He asks super shy and scared since he had repeated maybe twice. "Haha sure, we'll see." I say giggling and walking back to the table.

"Why you all giggly for." Kairi asks taking a bite from his burger.

"Oh nothing Rowan is over there and he asked me to hang and I told him we'll see haha." I say not thinking it's a big deal.

"He just got wellllll seeedddd, meaning never bruh." Robert says as we all laugh.

I can feel mattia tense up but I don't say anything. I didn't do anything wrong, maybe it was petty but... he told me I could still be friends with him.

We all finish up and head back to the cars we came in and Ale dropped me and kai off. "Bye I love you guys." I say kissing their cheeks and getting out. I don't know what but something in me just doesn't care. I knew something was bound to happen. It's like I'm relived it did happen? Is that bad? Maybe it's because of my past? Never mind about my past but yea I don't feel insanely hurt. Maybe I'm numb to feeling so broken.

( A LITTLE PSA, if any of you guys are feeling hurt or broken I want you to know there will always be someone who loves you 🥺 I know so much people who thinks no one cares but I promise you someone does! If any of you guys ever need someone to talk to you can message me on here or leave a comment you want me to respond to. I see all of your guys comments about your guys past and it honestly hurts me 🥺 ily guys and sorry for writing this I just want you guys to know you're 100% appreciated! ahhh.)

I head up to my room after talking to my mom a bunch. This calls for a time to clean up my whole room. I literally put all my shoes up on the racks, clean up my whole closet, do my laundry etc. I'm just in the mood to clean.

"MIJA! Someone's at the door for you hurry!" My mom says as I fold my clothes. "Coming ma!" I run down the stairs towards the door as I see the tall Italian boy I once gushed over. "Oh." I say standing near him. "Um... I didn't know you were coming over?" I say confused. "Can we talk in your room really quick?" He asks as I look at my mom for approval and she nods. We walk up to my room and I immediately go back to folding my laundry. He stands there amazed at how much I had did to my room. He looks around my room silently as I just minded my own business it was quiet for a little. The air filled with awkwardness.