Insipired (chasing sunset☀)

Chapter one👑

< MY AUTISM>

"Queen!".

I opened my eyes as soon as I heard my name. I stood up and walked into the bathroom sleepily.

My mum was busy making breakfast when I went downstairs. "Good morning mum", I greeted.

"Morning baby. How was your night?"

"Mum you know I do not..."

"Am sorry baby, am sorry". She apologized. "Well you forgot you had a scheduled appointment today with your psychologist", she reminded.

"I did not forget. I just overslept". Well I honestly forgot.

"Whatever. I need you to freshen up, she's coming over soon". She pouted with her hands akimbo.

"OK mummy". I said, digging into my food as soon as she passed it over.

* * * * * *

Okay, this is me, Queen Mabel Nicholas. I am a seventeen year old teenager and a writer. Precisely. Well I am the kind of a writer who pours my emotions into books, other than feeling them and I really wish I knew what it meant to feel love, gratitude, anger and the rest but I do not. Like at all. I have a serious genetic condition called 'Asperger's Syndrome'. It is a developmental disorder affecting the ability to effectively socialize and communicate, and it could last my whole life. So that is why I have a psychologist.

Growing up, I have been the replica of a human robot because I have no friends. No one to interact with, except mummy. I feel so different from the world because my doctor has said 'AS' patients have no feelings at all, but I have feelings, I just do not know how to express them. And as usual, genetic diseases never have a cure, but in my own case, I could surpass it. With mum educating me sometimes and doctor Brenda, my psychologist. So let's just say I have a pretty messed up life.

* * * * * *

"Baby?" Mummy called through my closed room door.

"Yes mummy?" I answered through my loud music.

"Doctor Brenda's here". She announced.

I stood up quickly, smiling. If only I could define that smile.

"Good afternoon Mrs Brenda", I greeted, coming down the stairs.

"Oh how are you?" She smiled on seeing me.

"Am cool", I said, not sure. "I guess", I added, shrugging.

She frowned smilingly. "That was supposed to be a plain answer. We will work on that", she assured. "I see you're doing just great".

"T-thank you?"... I stuttered. "I'll take that as a compliment?" I did not really mean it to come out as a question.

"Okay, is that a feeling of gratitude or what?" she asked.

"I think so". I mumbled motionlessly.

She grinned at me. "Progress". She referred to my mum and turned back to me. "Soon baby, you'll be like the rest of your mates", she assured.

Mummy smiled reliefly, walking over to me, she kissed me on my forehead and roughened my full long hair which naturally payed no attention to the law of gravity.

I just smiled unemotionally.

* * * * * *

Maybe, just maybe if the world opens one of it's doors to me, I would not be such a loner. I have heard stories of people who die for no reason, who came to the earth to be mocked, I do not want to be one of them so eventually, I would not give up on my dreams. I won't sleep and keep wishing when I can actually stay awake to achieve them-