Boy with the Blonde Hair

24

"Cal. Cal. Wake up. We need to pack."

I woke up to Adrianus gently shaking me.

My eyes met his green ones. There was nothing but concern written on his face. It almost made me forget about what I found out yesterday. Almost

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't you want you finding out that way..." he started before I cut him off.

"When we're you going to tell me?" I asked.

"Much later into the relationship" he muttered.

I knew that probably meant not at all.

"What are you in for?" I asked. "I mean, a good time is great and all, but I'm looking to settle down. After this trip I'm going to focus on settling down."

He kept silent. I knew it. All the words and telling me he loved me.

Yeah right.

"I was young, Callisto. I told you I made mistakes..."

I cut him off again, "You told me you drank!"

"And other things happen when you're drunk" he said darkly. "And that's why I only stick to a glass of wine now."

"So you've changed?" I asked quietly.

He laughed, but without humour.

"You have made me a better person. You've shown me the joys in taking things slow and for enjoying things for what it's worth. I have a bad past I know, but I honestly thought you believed me when I told you I changed. I guess you never did."

It was my turn to be flabbergasted.

"Excuse you! Turning this all on me! I told you from the beginning this was new to me! You kept that to yourself the entire time!" I uttered angrily.

"Tell me", I asked softly, "did you love any of the girls?"

He shook his head and replied, "no, I didn't."

"So you just did it for the sake of doing it?" I challenged. "News flash, everything I do has some meaning to it! If you can't handle that, please tell me now and spare from breaking later, so I may break now!"

He looked at me guiltily.

"That was all along time ago." He said quietly.

"I'm not like that! I'm scared you'll leave because I'm not. I'm worried about that. I'm scared of losing you. Are you happy now?!" I shouted, realising I was insecure and upset.

He slowly approached me, and held me in his arms, as if I were a small timid rabbit.

"In law, you have a records of sorts. Mine isn't squeaky clean. I try everyday to be better than the person I was the day before. Soon, I was no longer the teenage boy who cut class to drink and kiss girls. I became someone people admired. Not only for my looks anymore, mainly my looks, but also me as a person. Those are my close friends. And eventually you. My girlfriend. She didn't even care about how I look and immediately despised me because I thought she was like the rest. I liked she was different. She's logical and rational. She's you."

I smiled weakly at him.

"Yeah... but after hearing about who you were, I feel less secure if you want to be with someone like me."

"I am with you because I want to be with you. Let's face it. I could get any girl if I tried. But I want you. I'll continue trying to fight for you, to show you that I'm worthy of you. If there is anyone I want to be with for the rest of my life it's you. I've learnt so much about you over the months of travelling with you, and living with you. You're something else. I like the person I am when I'm with you."

"I'm scared you'll change and go back to the way you were. I don't want to end up like my mom" I whispered, while clinging onto him as if he were my lifeline.

"I'll make sure of it." He murmured while kissing my hair.