In my Blood

CHAPTER 57 - Self Sacrifice

The Berg rumbles to life beneath us as it lifts off the ground. Newt coughs weakly, yet a small smile settles on his face afterwards as he gazes at me. His eyes, although predominantly dark, are beginning to show signs of white at the edges, bloodshot as they may be. Black veins still outline his pale complexion, all along his arms and neck, although he has stopped sweating quite as intensely. 

Brenda, noticing Newt's calm demeanour, quietly leaves the room, placing a syringe on the table beside me just in case. I nod to her in thanks, cupping Newt's hand tighter. 

"How are you... feeling?" he asks quietly, his voice no more than a mutter.  

I brave a smile. "I'm... okay."

His eyes focus on the bandage on my upper arm. "What's that?"

I shake my head, my eyebrows furrowing. "Don't you worry about that. Do you need more of the Bliss?"

Newt shakes his head, although he suppresses another cough. "I'm... so sorry, (y/n)."

"Don't be," I reply softly. "Please don't be. It wasn't your fault at all. I just want things to be normal again..."

He chuckles under his breath. My heart flutters at the sound. "Normal..." he smiles. "As if we know what... that even–" Newt erupts in wheezes and coughs, his chest heaving. I break away from his grasp, standing up swiftly and grabbing the syringe, heart pounding. He nods amongst the cough attack, signalling to do it, and I do. 

His breath rattles to a still. He lets out a relieved, soft sigh, his eyes watering and darkening once more. I sit down again, taking the syringe out from his arm, patting it gently with a cloth. his chest is shaking slightly although he doesn't seem to be in immediate pain.

"Th-thank you."

I wipe his skin softly with the cloth, running it along his arms – coated in thick layers of dirt and blood. I stand up, walking over to the sink in the corner of the room and run the cloth under the tap. Brown water runs down the drain, and I wait under the water is clear again before I know the cloth is clean. Walking back over to Newt, I place the damp cloth on his forehead, and he lets out a satisfied breath of relief. 

"I love you," he whispers. He looks up to me, dark eyes sincere. "I really, really love you."

I smile, my voice breaking. "I love you too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." I look down to my wrist, where his faded bandanna is loosely wrapped. I untie it, wrapping it tighter than before. The frayed edges are stained with droplets of faded, brown blood and dirt, but I can deal with that later.  

The Berg sharply tilts, almost knocking me out of my seat. I grab a hold of Newt, stabilising him to the bed, while his eyes flash in panic. Brenda bursts into the room, breathless. 

"We found Thomas," she breathes. "And... Teresa."

I stand up. "Where? Can we get them easily?"

She swallows. "Yes, but only with enough time, and I'm not sure we do." 

I nod, looking to Newt. He looks back to me, his lips parted. "Go. I'll be fine, please just go."

"Just in case..." Brenda starts, heading for a different syringe, with white-ish liquid. "This is a light tranquilizer. Sorry Newt, but I can't risk it."

He nods cautiously as she inserts it into his neck, and his eyes immediately grow sleepy. She grabs my hand and I have one last, lingering look at him before we head for the door. As soon as I step out into the main room, I see the Berg hatch wide open, Vince, Minho, Gally and Frypan at the edge. And, beyond the Berg hatch: a building, up in flames. Embers cloud my sight as I look onto the building roof, flames surrounding the sides of it and growing more furious by the second. Limping towards the edge of the building, weakly carrying Thomas, is Teresa. Her long, dark brown hair is scruffy and wild, framing her pale face, scratched and glistening with sweat. Her mouth is set in a determined scowl as she uses whatever strength she has left to drag Thomas alongside her, who clutches his abdomen in pain. 

"We need to get closer, Jorge!" Vince yells as he reaches out, lying on his front, to grab Thomas' outstretched hand. The Berg sways closer to the building, and as I walk closer to the Berg hatch I can feel the heat on my face, feeling the sweat starting to form in my hairline. 

"Closer!" Gally shouts. 

"Come on, reach!" Minho screams, his hand stretched out further. 

The Berg inches further forward, before a powerful blast rapidly sways the Berg to the side. We all gasp in shock, looking over in dismay to see that a building to the right has been struck. An immense blast causes the skyscraper to explode, its roof beginning to crumble. Vince edges closer towards Thomas, offering his hand even further as Teresa picks Thomas up once more. Tears swell in her eyes, her whole body shaking in fear. Thomas, although conscious, simply doesn't have the strength. His face is waxy and pale, blood seeping out from his stomach. In a moment of utter hopelessness, knowing there's no other options, I have an idea. 

"Teresa, throw him!" I shout to her. Everyone looks to each other aghast, cautiously, knowing that this poor girl may not have the strength to throw Thomas to us. She walks forward more, stumbling. I see Minho shake his head, as if saying she'll never do it. My heart sinks as I begin to agree. Logically, there's no way; she's too weak, too frail, too injured. She hovers once more. I can see the shadows under her eyes, her whole body trembling just trying to hold Thomas upright. There's no way. 

But then, I see a shift in her eyes. Glaring, focused on the Berg hatch. With incredible strength and willpower, Teresa grabs a hold of Thomas from his stomach and launches him towards the hatch, his body somehow miraculously flying towards Minho and Vince. They grab Thomas' arms and pull him into the Berg safely, his body limp on the floor. I rush over to him, feeling his warm chest, still alive. He's still alive. He weakly turns towards the building again to face Teresa. His brown eyes are flooded with fear and sadness as he looks towards the girl, who pulls herself back up from the ground, steadying herself.

And, in that moment, I don't see the girl who betrayed us. I see a girl who wanted to help, who wanted to find a coping mechanism to deal with her traumatic past, who felt like an outsider. A girl who faced judgement for making a decision we felt was wrong, based on our own perspective of the world without really considering her own motivations, without looking past the limits of our own brainwashed minds. A girl who wanted, more than anything else, to help other people - even if it meant she had to suffer from her own self sacrifice and the loss of friendships. A girl I was once friends with. A girl who Thomas loves. And a girl who, at the end of the day, doesn't deserve to die.

"Teresa!" Thomas shouts, his voice raw. 

The building to the right begins rumbling, its walls destabilising and covered in flames. My heart pounds against my chest as I see it begins to fall, as if in slow-motion, towards the roof of this building. Shaking my head, I call out her name, urging her to jump to the Berg. My voice is shrill and weak.

And the building hits. 

She's knocked to the ground from the impact as the roof begins to fall, her mouth open and eyes wide. The Berg sways more than ever, almost knocking us to our feet, yet Teresa shakily begins getting to her feet. She has time, at least a few seconds, she can do it. 

She faces us, her eyes beginning to water with bitter, unforgiving tears. She can still make it... why isn't she jumping?  The roof begins to crumble. Slowly, at first, and then fast. It disintegrates before our very eyes. Her eyes cloud with tears, dripping down her face as a symbol of one last sorrowful and apologetic goodbye. 

And then she falls. 

The ground beneath her feet disappears into clouds of ash and smoke, and her body begins to free-fall. Flames and debris engulf her body as the only thing left reminding us of her is Thomas' pained and bitter cries, his voice breaking as the reality of what just happened hits him. Teresa is dead.