Staring at the Sun [COMPLETED]

Chapter 3

Nakisakay na rin ako sa van ni Peter with his staffs. It was quite a long drive dahil mejo traffic kanina. Nagsisi tuloy siya at bakit hindi nalang kami doon naglunch.

Sabay na dumating ang Hiace ni Peter at Chevy ni Syverth. He's with that model and some other guy. Inismiran ko siya noong nagkatinginan kami. Nakapa-judgemental. Naisip ko sa kanya ang mga auntie at uncle ko kumg sakaling malaman nila yong tungkol sa kinasasangkutan kung isyu. I bet katulad nang sa kanya ang magiging reaksyon nila!

Okey I get it. Oldies won't really understand my generation.

I ordered right away. Kung ano yung unang nakita ko sa menu ang pinili. Sizzling Curry Rice with Egg. I don't eat here much kaya  'yun na lang.

Maingay ang table namin dahil sa mga kasama ni Peter. Tahimik naman na parang may pinag-uusapan sila Syverth sa kabilang table. Bored while waiting for the food I decided to stalk him.

Wala lang. I am just curious kung talagang legit ba siya na photographer at feeling niya. All the photographers I met are all pleased when I told them I want to work with them. May iba pa ngang sila mismo ang lumalapit sa akin.

I searched him on social media.
Napaisip pa ako kung anong tamang spelling nang pangalan niya.

Saibert? Sybert? Syverth?
I try all of those with Peter's last name which is Llorente. Sabi niya pinsan niya eh so there's a chance na magkapareho nga sila. Finally I saw an account with a username 'syverthllorente'. Ang stalker ko talaga! Napatawa ako sa ginagawa.

He only had instagram with his picture on th icon. When I opened it, I was shock to see his million followers. He's even followed by some famous celebrities!

I scrolled om his feed and all I see was photos of fashion models and celebrities here and abroad. Some of it are sexy photoshoot. I even saw a naked model on white sheets. Nakakainggit! Parang gusto ko uli siyang kausapin, magpapakabait na ako. Bahala na kung ano mang isipan niya.

I glanced at him. He's talking to her model. Napatingin siya sa banda ko nang napansing sinulyapan ko siya
Agad ko namang binawi ang tingin sa cellphone.

Now I'm very curious. I searched him on Google.

There were so many results!
Nagulat ako sa daming informations tungkol sa kanya.
I read all  of those and was shocked to know that he is a member of Camera Club of the Philippines. He's also with Fujifilm Philippines X - Photograhers, and the list goes on.

Like Peter he has his own studio too.
SJ Portrait Studio, that's the name and it's what his watermark says also.

Mabilis kung tinago ang cellphone nang akmang titingin si Peter sa cellphone. Napansin siguro ang pagiging abala at kuryoso ng mukha ko.

"Ano 'yan?" he asked.

"Wala po, kain na tayo." binalewala ko na siya at nagsimula nang kumain.

Ang famous niya naman pala at legit nga na professional photographer. Sana mailakad ako ni Peter sa kanya.
Palalagpasin ko nalang ba yung fact na hinusgahan niya ako kanina without even knowing or seeing the truth? Sayang naman at gustong-gusto ko talagang magkaphotoshoot with him! I'll see what I can do.

Mabilis na natapos ang weekends at may pasok na ulit. Good mood ako ng umagang-umaga dahil naglabas na nang statement ang SPC na nagsasabing hindi nga ako iyong nasa kumakalat na scandal. Nareport na rin iyong mga account na nagpakalat noon.

Finally! I hope tumigil na nga sila. Masyado silang inggit at interesado sa buhay ko kaya kung anu-ano nalang ginagawa masiraam lanh ako.

After class I planned to meet Miguel to clear things out at para makapag sorry na rin.

He's outside the campus waiting. He's all smiles when he see me running towards him.

"Hi Love!" I greeted.

He kissed me on my cheek and open his car for me. I was shocked to see a bouquet of red roses at the front seat!

Hmm I remember him telling before that I prefer blue roses. Pero aarte pa ba ako?

"Thank you Love!" I hugged him.

Advantage talaga magboyfriend ng mas older guys. Aside from understanding, ma effort din.

"It's an apology bouquet. I'm sorry noong last time love, naniwala agad ako sa chismis. I didn't even watched the video. I'm scared to see you there." malungkot niyang sabi.

"Hindi ko naman gagawin 'yon. And you should be the one to denied it first. I'm your girlfriend you know me more than anyone else."

Napayuko siya sa sinabi ko. Hinawakan ko ang baba niya para magtama ang paningin namin. I want to see my reflection on his eyes. I didn't. Siguro dahil sa mababang liwanag.

"I'm sorry." he said again.

"Lumapit pa ako sa kanya para gawaran siya ng mababaw na halik.

I tried to withdraw but he won't let me.

He's kissing me inside his car! It's not my first time pero nasa campus pa kami!

"Love, we're still outside the school."
Sinabi ko sa gitna ng mga halik niya.

"They won't see us."

He continued kissing me again.

I had my first kiss on Grade 7 and all my exes since then gave me that kind of experience. Kaya hindi na bago sa akin ang mga ganiyo. It's normal for boyfriends and girlfriends to do things like this.

But this time, I know it's different. He's hungry kisses is  making me nervous and uncomfortable. This isn't what I should feel. Where are those butterflies on my stomach.

Trying to get that feeling. I close my eyes and slowly responds to his kiss.

Pero para siyang hinahabol! Does he really love me kaya ganito nalang siya makahalik sa akin? Why  can't I feel those butterflies.

I stopped when he tried to pull the hem of my skirt.

"What? You want it now on my pad?"
He said looking so drunk on his kisses.

Namilog ang mata ko sa tanong niyang iyon. Matagal na niyang sinasabi sa akin to pero laging binabago ang topic dahil hindi pa ako handa roon at ayaw ko rin siyang madissappoint.

"C'mon Lors, we're almost half a year together. I want to claim you mine. You love me right? Why can't you give it to me." he said.

Lahat ng nararamdam ko kay Miguel nitong mga nakaraang buwan ay biglang naglaho sa sinabi niyang iyon.

"I am yours Miguel. Kailangan pa ba 'yon para mapatunayan ko." matabang kong sabi.

"Yes, let's make love to prove our love to each other." sinubukan niya pang hawakam ang kamay ko pero umiwas ako.

"You know what? Akala ko iba ka sa ibang lalake dahil mas matanda ka akin. Mas matured. But I was wrong! Akala ko makapaghihintay ka. You're still like all of those boys my age. A horndog!"

He was shocked of my sudden burst dahil kung noon binibaby talk ko pa sya pagdating sa ganitong usapin, ngayon ay hindi na.

Kaya mabilis akong nakalabas ng sasakyan niya at tumakbo palabas ng parking area at pumara ng jeep.

I was holding my  tears  inside the jeepney. Pinagtitinginan ako ng ibang pasahero kaya ginawa ko ang lahat upang hindi maiyak. Pinagmasdan ko na lamang ang mga establisments alongside Obrero St.

I hate him!

Now I don't know anymore if dating older guys is good.