Staring at the Sun [COMPLETED]

Chapter 4

I cried the whole night. Kaya sabog na sabog akong pumasok kinabukasan. Gusto ko ngang umabsent pero mataas ang pride ko. Maganda ang records ko sa grades and attendance. I won't let a guy to ruin it. I would rather go to school and pretend like it didn't affect me when the truth is nasasaktan ako!

"Hindi ako makapaniwala na sinabi niya 'yun Lors." hindi makapaniwala si Ira

"Me too Ira, I thought older guys are different! Pare-pareho lang din naman pala sila. Kung immature ang mga kaedad natin, horndog naman ang mga mas matanda."

Ira agreed to me.

We we're inside the canteen to feed up our stomach and ego. Nakakababa naman ng self confidence itong ganito. I wonder if I let him do what he wants. I can't imagine giving my virginity to him. Surely I love him and we had a great relationship. Masyado lang talagang maaga para roon.

"Pano ba 'yan, baka gagawa na naman ng issue si Miguel. You too did not break officially pero parang ganoon na rin."

"I don't want to talk to him now."

"Sayang talaga, akala ko siya na ang the one mo, remember when he did your project sa MIL niyo? 'yung advertising video. Haysh ang effort niya ron." nanghihinayang na si Ira ngayon.

"Yes, he's sweet and understanding."

"He was." Ira corrected.

"Magboboyfriend nalang kaya ako ng older men" I said.

Hindi pa talaga nakukuntento. I want to explore so much. I want to see which am I capable to be with. Pwede ba iyon? Or masyado na akong nagiging playgirl.

"What? Anong ibig mong sabihin jusko day pahinga ka naman sa pagkakaron ng jowa kaya ka maraming issue." naiinis niyang sabi.

"No, what I mean is older guys, much older 'yong college guys or working men. You think it's hot to date them?"

I grinned at my imagination. Hahaha! Parang hindi lang kagagaling sa break-up at paglalandi agad iniisip ko.

"Ew! You mean sugar daddy?" natatawa niyang sabi.

We laughed at that thought. Well it's not bad naman. As long as he's gentleman or has money? To provide my caprices hahaha!

Napagkasunduan namin ni Ira na mag bar mamaya. She's 18 kaya makakapasok na siya. Jade, our bestie the owner of the bar made a VIP pass for me though para makapasok dahil 17 palang ako. I can't wait to be on a legal age!

"Jade said na 'yan daw yung ipapakita mo sa security bago pumasok." Ira explained.

We're here at my house in Solariega. Mama's not home but she knows I'm partying tonight. She only said to not be friend with any fuckboys. Natawa ako noong sinabi niya 'yun. She's really cool with me partying or drinking at bars. Last Kadayawan, we went to a foam party together. We got really drunk. Good thing her boyfriend was around to take us home.

Mama's separated with my papa. And they're both happy with their own relationships now.

I smiled at that thought. Kahit ganoon hindi pa rin nako nagkulang sa pagmamahal mg magulang. Maswerte pa rin ako.

Wearing a black sleeveless shirt and a maong shorts. I put on my boots and finished my party make up. I matched my outfit with a faded denim jacket and I'm ready to go!

"Let's go girl!" Ira chanted.

"Let's party all night! Wohoo!"

Tulad ng inaasahan, madali lang akong nakapasok sa Club Echelon dahil sa binigay ni Jade na VIP Pass. The security guard told me to just go home straight before 2 AM or else I'll be doom.