Dear Marilyn (BoyxBoy)

The G Word

2 weeks later, after a short break from the play's normal schedule for Christmas and New Year, rehearsals were back in full swing for The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and I was actually starting to feel less nervous about my upcoming stage debut.

The Christmas break had given me time to get my head round the fact I was doing this and Polly had been so proud of me, that when I told her about it, she insisted on helping me learn my lines and was coming over all the time to help out.

It was so sweet seeing her try so hard to be a good actress, but the posh accent she was trying to put on, just constantly had me in stitches. She didn't need to try a different voice, because she was posh naturally, but for some reason she'd adopted this Hermoine Granger style impersonation and was sticking with it! So, like a good boyfriend, I just played along and laughed and laughed and laughed at Polly, till I was either crying or blue in the face, whichever came first.

There was no way I was learning my lines like this, but just being with Polly and doing this together, meant so much to me and we were having so much fun, that I really didn't care. I knew by now, that I had to make the most of these moments shared doing random things, because once my secret was out, there was no going back.

She came over to mine straight from school one night that same week, to have tea with us and to also help me cram in some extra rehearsal time, before Devon came and picked me up. I got the sense though, that for some reason she just did not want to go home. She seemed unexplainably fidgety.

'Polly, is everything OK?' I asked, not at all prepared for what she was going to say next.

'Yes, of course Bailey. Why?'

'It's just I'm getting a weird vibe from you, like you don't want to go home or something. You haven't had a row with your Mum and Dad, have you?'

'No! I just wanted to see if the rumours were true, that's all.' She laughed.

'What rumours? What are you going on about Polly? I thought you were being strange!'

I literally had no idea what was going on and was so glad I'd decided to ask now!

'Oh, it's nothing. Forget I said anything. Now, where were we?'.

She sensed my agitation, so started to quickly ruffle through the pages of the script, desperately trying to find where we had got up to, so we could carry on like nothing had happened. But I was intrigued now, and we had come too far for me to let this go, so I grabbed her hands, held them in mine and looked deep into her eyes. They were such a gorgeous blue colour. The sort of blue you could get completely lost in and I did quite often.

'Polly. Tell me what's on your mind. What's happened?'

I was genuinely starting to get concerned.

'Oh, it's silly really. I didn't want to say anything, but because everyone keeps going on about it at school, I just felt like I had no choice but to come and see for myself.'

She was so nervous, which was so unlike her and I was still none the wiser.

'Go on.'

I rubbed her hands between mine and smiled reassuringly. I hoped she would feel confident enough to tell me what was bothering her.

'It's Devon,' she muttered.

'Devon? What's he got to do with anything?' I replied, completely caught off guard.

'Yes, Devon. He's gay!' she carried on. 'Devon's gay and since you've been cast in this bloody show, it's all anyone at school keeps talking about! You know what people are like and everyone's really surprised you'd put yourself up for this role, knowing that.'

I sat there in silence, not knowing what to say or how to react. Did Polly want me to pull out of doing the show because Devon was gay? Was this the real reason the other two guys who'd been cast as Peter had left? Were they getting hassle at school because of this? I had so many questions flying through my mind, I just didn't know where to begin. So, I didn't.

Instead I said, 'Polly, I think you better go. I thought you'd come round here to help me and to spend time with me, when really all you wanted to do was to confirm if the rumours were true or not! Do you know how mean that is?'

She opened her mouth to speak, but before she had chance to, the doorbell rang and Dad shouted up the stairs.

'Bailey, Devon's here.'

I grabbed my stuff, kissed Polly on the forehead and said calmly, 'You can let yourself out,' before I ran down the stairs and out the door as quick as my legs would carry me.

The whole twenty-minute drive to rehearsals, I was fuming. I could feel myself radiating with heat from head to toe. I was angry, really angry and I didn't know why or what to do.

My phone screen flashed, with a text from Polly that begun, 'I'm so sorry....' but I didn't want her sorry right now, I had no time for it. She should know better than to act like this.

I flung my phone back in my bag and decided I wasn't going to respond tonight; I'd let her stew on it instead. I was going to go to rehearsal and focusing on being Peter and forget all about my normal life if only for tonight. For my own sake and for Devon's sake.

I thought to myself, if only one thing comes out of me doing this show, then I hope it's that people learn to not judge a book by its cover and that they give someone a chance. The question of whether Devon was gay or not, was none of my business or anyone else's for that matter and anyway that could wait for another time. The play was the most important thing right now, not his sexuality. Little did I know, as I arrived at rehearsals ready to become Peter, that by the end of that very same night, I'd have the answer.