Dear Marilyn (BoyxBoy)

Leaver Message After The Tone

'Bailey. Well where shall I start? I don't want to say goodbye, I just want to tell you what I think of you honestly. You are so loving and have something really special about you which means whatever we talk about, I take onboard and it always really means a lot to me. Everyone in our group has always really looked up to you and trust me, not everyone has a gift like that. You are truly lucky.

I know your music is something fairly new to you Bailey, but from what I've heard so far, you sing for yourself. Don't ever lose that. Your whole face lights up when you sing and it really brought a lump to my throat when I heard you practicing for your exam.

The one time I have been disappointed in you though Bailey, is when you didn't have enough trust in me to tell me you were gay. It hasn't changed my opinion of you though. Of course it wouldn't, because you once taught me, that as long as you're happy, be who you want to be.

So what happened Bailey? How did you get lost along the way? What stopped you from practicing what you preach so well? You might feel like you're on your own, but you're not and we are all here waiting for you when you're ready. You don't have to be scared anymore, just be proud of who you are, because I think you are ace, as do a lot of other people you know. You can do this! Don't worry about Polly she'll be ok and as for Beth, she'll soon come to her senses.

All my love.'

There was no name. How could they not leave a name? I was part fuming, part.....grateful? I wasn't even really sure how I felt. Shocked I guess. I looked over at Louis, who had been studying my face throughout my reading. Was it him?

I slowly turned around and looked to see if anyone else was looking at me. They all were. Was there an eject button on this bus? I turned back around and willed the ground to swallow me up.

'Fag'.

A voice towards the back of the bus said.

My cheeks burned with fury but I kept quiet. A packed bus full of witnesses watching my every move was not the best place for me to snap. So I kept my cool and the stop closest to home soon came and I was off.

As the bus passed by, people were banging on the window to get my attention, but I glazed over and just focused on the road ahead. Everyone knew now, accept my family, but I couldn't deal with them right now. I couldn't deal with anyone right now and thank god I didn't have too.

I reached home, put my key in the door and clicked it closed behind me. I slid down the wall, with head in hands and cried my heart out. The nightmare was over. How I'd got through these last weeks of school, I will never know. I was completely drained of everything that made me Bailey and now I had to recharge, build myself back up and focus on my exams.

The note in my leavers book was going round and round in my head and in particular the lines 'you once taught me, that as long as you're happy, be who you want to be.'

Damn right I did! Whoever wrote this knew I needed to hear it. It might not of been the best way to get the message across, I mean they just outed me to my whole year at school, but the message was received loud and clear.

I wiped my face on my shirt and stood up. I was done being sad about all this and I was done grieving for the life that could of been with Polly. I let her go because I loved her and I knew in time she'd see that. The real problem I had was with Beth. We'd never fallen out and not spoken before and I certainly wasn't going to let this continue for much longer. Not for Malek, not for anyone.

If only there was some way I could make her see sense and that no boy was ever worth losing your best friend for. I wasn't going down without a fight and as they say, it's not over until the fat lady sings.... and that's when it suddenly clicked.

I knew exactly what I had to do.