Dear Marilyn (BoyxBoy)

A Real Life Gay

January 16th, 2003

Dear Marilyn,

Well, well, well, well, well... that was a turn up for the books wasn't it eh? 

It looks like Polly WAS right after all and that Devon, or McCreamy as I call him, due to the fact he's dreamy and also loves a cream tea (don't we all), is in fact GAY! Or should I say GAY too! 

I've never met a real life gay person before and I can confirm that a gay person, is actually just like a completely normal person! I am so surprised! AND even bigger news than that..he hasn't caught fire once, when we've gone into rehearsals, which is in Bradwell's gorgeous little church hall AND also, whenever I see him, he's NOT decked out in head to toe leather, he DOES NOT have a dodgy moustache and he's not surrounded by pink or glittery things 24/7! HE IS AN ACTUAL MAN. A normal man. Can you believe it Maz! I am shook.

Here's how it all went down.

Devon is 27 years older than me, so as much as I thought I was doing a good job of hiding everything that was constantly swirling around in my head, I really wasn't. My teenage big hairy butt was stumbling over lines, missing cues and was getting slowly but surely, more and more angry with myself for messing it all up, when I'd done it all so perfectly at home with Polly earlier. I was distracted and to some people it went unnoticed, but to McCreamy it clearly didn't.

When tea break came. most people went outside for some fresh air, or a cigarette. I instead grabbed a quick cup of tea with a bourbon biscuit from the lovely ladies over at the serving hatch and found a quiet seat to go over my lines again. I felt really embarrassed and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. It's hard enough coming into the show so late in the day, when everyone has already bonded and made friends, but then to come in and be no good on top of that, is even worse. I really want to prove I can do it!

Devon quietly made his way over to me and made me jump out my seat when he asked, 'Is everything alright Bailey?'

'Devon I'm so sorry! I don't know what's going on tonight! I'm just not getting it am I? Do you want me to leave the show?' I said sheepishly.

'Of, course not!' he laughed. 'You don't get chucked out because you fluff a few lines! You'll have to do a lot worse then that my friend! You've honestly been doing so well Bailey and I know how hard it is to come into a new environment and start from scratch at a different time to everyone else has. Keep up the good work and if you ever need to talk, you know where I am. You might be fooling these lot, but I can see the cogs turning in there and I know you've got a lot going on. So don't worry.'

'Thanks Devon. I'll try harder this next half.' I replied.

'I know you will,' he said, as he walked over to the hatch for..you guessed it Maz! A cream tea! 

He is just so kind and caring and I feel completely at ease when I'm with him. I think this might be how some sons feel when they're with their dads. I know I don't, but I can tell my brothers do. It's like an unspoken connection that makes you feel safe and so for the second half of tonight which began after the break, I was back in the room, nailing my lines, hitting my cues and all was well once more. 

Rehearsals finish at 8pm on a Friday, so Devon asked me if I wanted to go back to his for coffee before he took me home and I know what you're thinking Maz but remember how old he is and how old I am and anyway I've not finished the story yet. Of course I said yes! I wanted to get to know Devon. He is like a breathe of fresh air to me and at a time when my world is still spinning from Mum and Dad breaking up, maybe he is just what I need. A friend. One i could talk to without fear of being judged. Who knows? I had a good feeling anyway, so I went with my gut and we headed back to his house. 

We pulled up outside and my god, the house is so beautiful. It's big, it's classy and it has steps from the drive going up into the house. There were already 2 cars on the drive which I thought was strange but as we knocked on the door, this was soon made sense of, as it was opened by a man who immediately snogged Devon's face off, much to his dismay!

'Darren, stop! I've got someone with me!' I poked my head out from behind Devon and waved.

'O god! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there!' he laughed and immediately I liked him. He was tall with blonde spiky hair and blue eyes, with a laugh so filthy you just could not hear it without laughing yourself. So I did and just like any gentleman would, I stuck out my hand and introduced myself.  

'Hi Darren, I'm Bailey. Nice to meet you. Do all your guests get welcomed like that?' I grinned cheekily.

'Hey! He's mine!' Devon screamed whilst in a mixture of giggles and nervous energy, we all piled into their glorious home aptly named 'Waterside' due to it's close proximity to the sea. 

The coffee was nice, the conversation was easy, Darren was lovely and I was also introduced to another couple that lived in the house. Devon's ex Bill and his boyfriend Paul. Sounds complicated, but it works for them. I know this is soo many worlds away from mine Maz, but I just sat there and soaked it all up like a sponge and I actually felt part of the furniture. It's a really nice feeling and on our way home tonight, I realised what I now have to do. I've dispelled the story my Dad taught us, that 'being gay was bad' and that 'all gay people should be killed' and now I am going to make him finally see how wrong he is. Not right now, because now I'm going to bed, but some day I will. I just need to make him see me and that being gay doesn't change who I am. Anyway, that's enough for your gossip loving ears for one day!

Night Maz Xx