thoughts of thinking (might delete)

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It's bitterness I taste
when I think of the times
that I spent and wasted.
the times when it seemed that
the world was ending because
I couldn't speak when I wanted to.
and still now, things haunt me
just like they used to.
like the thoughts of my venomous
words and thinking. like trying to
make daisies out of charcoal.
or trying to bleed lava out of hatred.
so I say it's useless, but I still try.
and for this? I am exhausted.

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