Marrying my Opposite

21- Feeling Guilty

Raghav's POV:

It had been a week since we came here. Even after a lot of tries, I was unable to come home on time. All my promises about helping Tanya in kitchen and buying the new couch were left unattended. But today, I finally managed to come home on time.

To my surprise, Tanya wasn't at home when I came. I called to ask her whereabouts but the calls didn't reach. I shrugged and waited for her, thinking she must have gone somewhere nearby. But when she didn't return even after an hour, it made me feel uneasy.

I tried calling her again, but the phone was still out of reach. Plus, it was getting dark. Everything just added to my fears.

Not being able to sit still, I went out to look for her. I couldn't find her anywhere near our house.

'No Raghav, don't panic. She is safe. Maybe she returned home when I came outside to search for her. Yes, that is what had happened', giving myself a pep talk, I returned back home.

However, she wasn't at home. Now, my worries had reached the roof. And my brain had stopped working. Not knowing, how to find her, I just paced around the living room, trying to think of an idea.

The idea didn't come but surely, the series of bad thoughts rained inside my mind. I was on the verge of collapsing from tension, when Tanya came back.

The worry came out in the form of innumerable questions. And the answer, the answer made me forget all the sense.

Shopping? Who in the world stays out at this hour for shopping? Here, I was worried for her and she was there enjoying herself. My frustration grew and I bursted out in anger.

So many bad thoughts had ran through my mind and the reason behind it was so stupid. I shouted at her for being so careless. I would have continued to scold her more but then I stopped abruptly when I saw her standing there with closed eyes.

'Did I go overboard?' This question ran through my mind and sure enough, it got confirmed when I saw the she was indeed crying.

Kicking myself internally, I moved forward to console her but then something unexpected happened. Something that I would never forget.

She flinched away from me in fear.

Until this day, I felt hurt whenever she got scared of me. But today, it wasn't her own fear or assumptions. Today, this happened because of my actions. My actions made her feel that I would hurt her.

I was worried for her safety and that worry had came out like a scolding. I wanted her to be safe but my actions did the opposite. I made her feel that she was unsafe near me.

I had no idea on how to make her understand. My intentions weren't bad, but I knew me being near her right now, wasn't helping the cause. So, I left the room hurriedly after whispering a 'sorry'.

★★★★★

I was in the room, sitting on the bed, biting my nails in worry. I was ashamed of myself today. What I made her feel today was wrong on so many levels. I wouldn't even forgive myself for this but I still hoped that against all odds, she would give me a chance to rectify my mistake.

While I was contemplating on how to properly apologize, there was a hesitant knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, I stood up to open the door.

"Fo..foo..food is ready", she stuttered, looking scared.

"Okay", I said and took a step to come out of the room, causing her to step back hurriedly.

"Careful", I spoke as she nearly lost her balance.

Giving me a shaky smile, which was obviously a fake, she turned and hurriedly ran downstairs. I let her be, and went slowly, wanting to give her some breathing space.

I wordlessly ate my dinner, not knowing how to approach her. After a few minutes of silence, she clarified what had happened.

"I went to look for a couch. I didn't know that you would be coming early today. As you always come late, I thought I would be back before you".

Her explanation just increased my guilt. She was right. After a whole week of coming late, today was the day I decided to come early. How was she supposed to know that?

"But...", she spoke again, making me come out of my thoughts.

"Not charging my phone, was a mistake. I am sorry about that", she apologized.

She was quick to add on to her sentence, before I had any chance to speak.

"Don't worry, from today onwards, I would never leave this house. I won't go out. Please forgive me this time".

Her words and the desperation in her eyes broke my heart. I had to do something before Tanya's fear deepened.

"No no, Tanya, please don't misunderstand. I don't have any problem with you going out. And even if I had any problem, you shouldn't stop on my account.

"I shouted because I was worried for your safety. But that too was a wrong way of dealing with things. I am the one who is at fault here, please don't bend for such things. You don't need my permission for anything.

"Tanya, I am your husband, not your owner".

She nodded at me with teary eyes. A small smile appeared on her face. And that made me relieved. Even though small, it was a real smile.