I Think I Might Be

Chapter 11

** THREE WEEKS LATER**

Maya officially left about a week ago. Ava couldn't believe it. Ava stayed at Maya's apartment the night before she left to help her pack and Ava took her to the airport early the next morning. It was the hardest goodbye Ava ever had to do, but they were able to talk about what would happen between them now that they were separated. They both agreed that it should end for good, and they should still stay friends.

Ava had to be content with that. She would miss Maya a lot, but eventually she'd be able to move on. She was happy to still be friends though. She hoped that Maya would move out there and be happy with her fiancé. Even though she couldn't see her anymore, she wanted her to be happy.

It's only been about a week since Maya left, but Ava couldn't stop thinking about the fact that she never told Maya she loves her. Should Ava have told her before she left? What if it's not too late? Should she call her and tell her over the phone? Or should she just let it be over with? Just saying I love you isn't bad right? She could maybe say she loves her as a friend but that would be lying. She didn't want to lie. Ava had no idea what to do. She really needed a friend's advice.

It had been forever since she talked to Bri. This was the longest they had ever gone without talking. Ava couldn't believe Bri was still mad at her. Maybe Bri was just waiting for Ava to reach out to her first. Plenty of time had passed. She had to be over this whole Maya situation now. Besides, Maya was out of the picture now and Ava was sure Bri would love to hear that.

Ava decided to be the bigger person and text Bri. The conversation was a little awkward at first. Bri's texts were short and Ava couldn't tell if she was still mad or not. She took a risk and asked her to come over. To her surprise, Bri agreed to come over later that night. 

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Ava anxiously waited for Bri to arrive at her apartment. She couldn't believe she was this nervous, but she figured Bri was still somewhat mad. Bri had a way of sending mixed signals sometimes. She was coming over, but she was still sending one-word texts and taking a while to reply. Ava really didn't want this to be awkward. She hoped that things could go back to normal now that Maya was gone.

When Bri got there Ava greeted her with a hug. It was a loose hug so Ava could tell Bri was still slightly upset. Ava tried to ignore it. She had too much to tell Bri and she really needed a friend right now. The two sat on the couch to catch up.

"So how have you been? What have you been up to?" Ava asked.

"Pretty good. Not much really" Bri answered.

Pretty good?? Ava thought to herself. Bri always had something going on. Why is she giving these small answers? Ava knew for a fact she had at least one thing going on- Jess. The woman who was still posting pics of some man on Instagram.

"Oh, that's good!" Ava said trying to bring some life into the conversation.

"So how are things with you and Jess? I know we haven't talked in a while. Catch me up on that." Ava said.

"We're good" Bri replied.

What the fuck? Ava thought to herself. This was getting annoying. Why would she come over if she wasn't' going to talk and tell her anything. She didn't want her to leave though. She decided to open up herself thinking that maybe if she did, Bri would too. She thought being honest and open would be the best approach.

"Look Bri- I really missed you" Ava said.

"Oh, did you?" Bri asked.

"Yes. You should know that Maya left. She moved to California to be closer to her fiancé. To be honest, it's only been a week and I am completely heartbroken. I know you don't like hearing about this stuff, but I have no one else. Can I please talk to you about it?" Ava asked.

Bri breathed out and sat back on the couch. "Ok. Sure."

"Thank you. Ok, I know you don't like her, and you never approved of what we were doing anyway, but I definitely got caught up. Maybe I'm only seeing that now because she's gone but anyway... I think I still love her and I never told her. Last time we talked I mentioned it, but I never went through with it, and I can't figure out why" Ava said.

"Ok, well tell me more" Bri said as she stood up and walked into the kitchen. "I'm going to get a glass of water really quick" Bri continued.

Ava was so glad Bri was actually listening to her instead of telling her how dumb it all was. She smiled and breathed out a sign of relief. "Yeah, go ahead" Ava said as she followed Bri to the kitchen. She leaned against the counter and Bri went into the cabinet for a glass.

"Ok, well I bought her a rose and everything. I wanted to be romantic but not overly romantic. She opened the door and that's when I gave it to her, but then we sat down. She told me she had something to tell me, so I let her go first. That's when she told me she was moving. I froze after that. It was so embarrassing. I was crying in her lap and I never told her" Ava explained.

"Hmm. Sounds like you weren't really in love" Bri admitted.

"What? How can you say that? What was it then? How do you know?" Ava questioned.

"It was lust, girl. As soon as she told you she was leaving you probably started thinking of her differently and wondering if you should go through with it or not" Bri said as she stood directly in front of Ava who was leaning against the counter with her arms folded.

Bri took a sip of her water and waited for Ava to respond.

"Well... I mean maybe" Ava said looking slightly confused.

"But how do you know if it's lust or love then? It felt pretty real to me" Ava asked.

Bri sat her glass down on the counter and looked directly into Ava's eyes. Bri grabbed her waist and pulled her close. She kissed Ava softly and slowly. It definitely took Ava by surprise, but she didn't resist. The kiss lasted longer than Bri intended. It was as if they were both craving each other's lips. The kiss turned passionate as their tongues fought for dominance and Bri won. Ava finally got the strength to push away from Bri, but she couldn't escape. Bri was hovering over her.

A look of confusion panned over Ava's face.

"That's love" Bri said.

"Damn" was all Ava was able to respond.