My 99 Thoughts

Addiction

I shouldn't care what anybody else thinks. I shouldn't feel what anybody else thinks. I shouldn't sympathize with those who are filled with lies but that's where I only truly find solace.

Relatability is my drug , its substance fills my veins and enters my arteries. It refuses to leave and even when I find an intervention is staged for me it's still tainted me.

I can be okay, I can listen to what everybody else thinks, temporarily I can drown out my feelings and let them sink.

I can be me right now, not this problematic addict with an overwhelming habit to continue to inhabit others ideas and habits.

I can be me, until I have my withdrawals.

I can never be purified or distilled of these drugs.

I can never be free from something that resides inside of me.

It runs through my vein and through my arteries. Its addiction is not physical but neurological, I can't slap a bandaid on it and hope it dissapears.

I ask for the patience I so graciously give out, to help me out. I didn't ask for you to pout or shout at me, I'm asking for you to bear with me.

My addiction isn't something that'll disappear over night as if I'm hungover.

It runs through my veins and arteries, it's not physical but neurological, it's something that I need to figure out. I don't need you to pout or shout because that'll never help me figure my life out.