Okay, so I should have ripped the paper out of his hands as soon as he found it. But that would have made it just as obvious that something was wrong. I could have made something up, I guess. A different plausible explanation as to why there was a written letter hidden in my closed laptop. But I was so nervous while he was in my room, and I couldn't figure out what to say.
I let him read a part of it. Maybe I wanted him to read it, I don't know. It doesn't change the fact that I still want to send it to my family. It still doesn't change the fact that, now that he's left my room, I could do the act right now.
I talked to him for about half an hour before he finally left. He kept asking me over and over again if he could read the rest of the letter. I told him no, that it was meant for my family. He asked me for my phone, probably to call my family and warn them. I had hidden my phone too, before he had entered the room, and I told him that. He didn't go searching for it. He chose to focus on me instead. He told me how much life I had left to live, how much I still had to live for, how much good I was going to do in the world. It was everything I was expecting. He hadn't been very good at convincing me, but he tried his best. I could tell that he was also nervous the entire time he talked to me. I could tell that he wanted to desperately call for back-up support.
He told me that he was coming back really soon. Maybe he was coming with campus security, maybe someone was coming to pick me up to take me to the hospital, maybe it would be the police and a crisis team. Maybe it would take them five more minutes to get here. Maybe ten. Maybe fifteen.
I'm going to type here until I decide what to do. I don't know what to do. His visit has completely thrown me off. Now that someone knows, and wants me to stay, it feels different. I really, really don't know what to do. I don't know what to do and I can't figure out what to do and I just don't know what to do. I don't know. I really just can't make a decision and I don't know what to do and I wish I knew what to do. I know I have to act now or never.
Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never. Now or never.
I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom.
I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad. I love you dad.
I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia. I love you Julia.
I love you Jessica. I love you Jessica. I love you Jessica. I love you Jessica. I love you Jessica. I love you Jessica. I love you Jessica. I love you Jessica. I love you Jessica. I love you Je
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General FictionJonathan and Cole are starting college. Cole is nervous, excited, and ready to meet new people. Jonathan is alone in his room, trying to overcome his obsessive thoughts and panic attacks and fears about meeting new people. Cole spends his first nigh...
