What's your damage?| Bmc in the style of heathers✔

The me inside of me 1/2

⚠️TW: suicidal thoughts/ swear words/ insecurity/ depressions/ anger issues⚠️

POV Rich

'Think. Long and hard. Conjure him up in your mind. What would he say? What is his final statement to a cold, uncaring planet?

I looked worried around while Jake, who also had a bandage on his hand how I noticed, tried to calm me down.
''It's not your fault Rich,'' Jake said carefully for the 5th time now but I just shook my head again.
''But I set the fire!'' I argued, trying to stand up but getting hold back from a nurse which was changing my bandages on my left arm.
''That doesn't matter! You are stuck here for a few weeks, so get a hobbie you can do while just sitting around!'' Jake changed the subject but I just looked away.

''We called your parents but no one answered the phone-'' the nurse began but I interrupted her taking about my 'parents'.
''Father, not parents and I wouldn't even call my father a dad.'' 
When I said this, I saw Jakes sad look and I decided to ignore that.

I should get used to it.
It's for the better.

''My dad doesn't care anyways,'' I sighed and shrugged which gave me a huge pain in my arm.
''Argh!'' I yelled because of the pain but stopped when two women, Michaels Moms, ran through the door over to Michael.
''Oh my-'' Charlie cried when she arrived at his bed which gave me chills and I felt how I began to tear up again.
''What happened to him?!'' Evelyn gasped and sobbed.

Just the noise of them crying and questioning everything made me cry too and I saw how Jake tried to hug me but I pushed him away.

''How long will it take until he wakes up?!'' One of them asked but I was too deep in my thoughts to recognise who exactly it was in the end.
But what I recognised was the answer of the doctor who sighed and answered.
''We don't know  if he will ever wake up again.''
Charlie and Evelyn both began to sob loudly and I wasn't able to hold myself back anymore.

''What? That's not pothible(possible)! You have to do thomething(something)!'' I slapped myself again and continued yelling.
''I won't let happen that he isn't gonna wake up anymore!''

Everyone turned around to me and I turned red because of my anger.

''We are trying what we ca-'' the doctor began but I interrupted him again.
''Then try better!'' I felt how tears ran down my cheeks but I was unstoppable.
''You can't tell me you are trying everything what you can when he still isn't awake!''

I looked over to Michael and gulped.

I wish he'd be awake.

''I know how you are, you are that kind of popular not caring person.'' Jeremy entered the room and my anger got worse.

''Believe it or not, I knew about fear, I knew how loneliness stung. I hit behind smiles and crazy hot clothes I learned to kiss people with my toung! But aaaall the world it held me down It weighed like a concrete prom queen crown." I began to sing and saw how Jeremy looked at me surprised and Jake frowned.

The moment when I wanted to continue, Jeremy interrupted me aggressively and shouted more than singing.
''No one thinks a popular boy has feelings! No one gets your 'insecurity'!''
Not even a bit impressed, I just continued and always looked a bit over to Michael, just in case...
''I am more than pushing and punching! No one sees the me inside of me,'' I sang loudly and convincing.

''Jesus, you're making it sound like Air Supply.'' Jeremy rolled his eyes and I shook my head.
''Keep going. This has to be good enough to wake him up.'' Charlie cried and I looked over to her which gave me even more power in my voice.
''They couldn't see past my rockstar mystique, they wouldn't dare look in my eyes.
But just underneath was a terrified boy who clings to his pillow and cries! My looks were just like prison bars, They've left me a myriad of scars."