once,
last year,
your spirit slumbered
perhaps if one looked beneath
the falsities
and washed off the smile
you plastered to your face
(you never quite got them right, though, the lips)
they could find you there
in a corner of carcasses
every body your own
at first, you burned
the fire, the feeling consumed your soul
your being
your hope
the flames licked your skin
caressed your cheek,
your charred heart barely beating
when the waves came,
you fell in with open arms
the maelstrom was never a choice anyway
you wondered
did they realize you were drowning?
(down here, there's only muffled cries
and shattered streams of the sun;
what did it look like, again?)
did they see you beneath the surface?
did they watch as you lungs expanded?
when you stopped kicking, when you gave up, did they stare?
did they even blink
when you looked up at the light,
when you tumbled into cold oblivion
and thought
does warmth still exist somewhere?
answer: perhaps, somewhere. never here
did they even notice?
is the question that yearns,
slices, writhes
in your barely beating heart
is ignorance or carelessness worse?
the latter is surely more vicious, you think
ignorance cannot be blamed for its nature
but carelessness is cruel at the heart
you think, what a luxury
to have a choice between numbness
and feeling
perhaps the easiest and most selfish thing,
to choose the numb
you wish they hadn't.
YOU ARE READING
of all the stars that shine | poetry
Poetryhave you ever been heartbroken? depressed? stuck in your head? me too. here's some of what goes in my mind. take a look, maybe you can relate. a collection of poems from the past couple years. this is just my own way of journaling.
