seventeen is a tender age
i am not yet a finished sculpture
the clay has not been molded and burned
to its final state
seventeen is a foolish age
foolish to believe i was an exception
(we were an exception)
to life's hard-learned rules
foolish to believe i somehow
avoided the cliche
of the girl heartbroken
by a boy who was done playing with his toy
by a boy whose clay molded so well with yours
you thought:
forever
you thought:
a nice house
a dog
and nights together
you thought
happiness feels like his hand in yours and his smile just for you
you thought:
this is not just a boy (oh but he is)
this is the boy who makes songs make sense
who makes you feel the weight of your crown
and lifts up your chin when your own bones fail
you thought:
this is it. this is all i have wanted
wished
and longed for
in seventeen rolling waves of life
you forgot:
all the other lights in the world
all the birds and flowers and
the sound of your mothers i love you
the laugh of your best friend
his arms are not the only arms
you can fall into when the day is hard and the night hurts your heavy heart again
you forgot:
two halves do not make a whole
to truly be strong together you must stand alone first
clay must be burned before it is smoothed
there is more than him and i and all our memories and all our dreams
maybe he's not the one.
maybe no amount of hoping will change that
maybe
he doesn't care like he used to
you can't stop change
with a handful of wishes in a well
he wasn't finished either
you can't stop the hope that one day
him
the dog
the house
the nights by firelight
will be yours again to dream and to have and hold
but you can't stop him from leaving
you can't stop him from hurting
you can't reverse the track you can't
glue the pieces and parts and fragments back together
tie them with a bow
and declare "i don't know what it feels like to break"
because you do
and you can only hope
that he is still there under the cracks
but you're not certain
what remains
aren't we all just fools in love?
(want me, please)
YOU ARE READING
of all the stars that shine | poetry
Poetryhave you ever been heartbroken? depressed? stuck in your head? me too. here's some of what goes in my mind. take a look, maybe you can relate. a collection of poems from the past couple years. this is just my own way of journaling.
