Our Past Connected Us

Chapter 29

Chapter theme : Susi - Ben & Ben

Chapter 29

Being here makes me feel at ease and makes my hands to tremble. The place feels so much cold because of the air conditions around the whole gymnasium.

Today's the second graduation without Papa, but I can feel that he's the proudest. Looking back to those moments when I found myself crying in front of my father's grave and in front of the altar makes me proudly say that I did it once again. I've been on my darkest hours, thinking there's no way out of my four-walled and suffocating mind. But God's indeed great for giving me the chance to see the beauty of living again.

And that's when my day's started to recolor as I convinced myself that I still have a lot more to go through, that I still can do so many wonderful things in this constantly changing world.

That I can be more than this because I'm still here. I'm still breathing and dreaming.

"Arcega, Estelle Jomillee with the highest honor"

I already went towards the stage with my mother behind me "Congratulations, Estelle" I genuinely smiled upon hearing Sir Theo Dhelmore's voice once again "Thank you, Sir" I said as he already moved my graduation tassel to the other side "Congratulations, Estelle. I'm so proud of you" Sabi ni Mama nang maisuot na niya ang medal sa akin

After taking a photo, Mama already left the stage while I was instructed to stay.

Pang huli kasing tinawag ang STEM 1-A at kahulihan din akong tinawag sa lahat ng graduates "Can we all give a round of applause for Ms. Estelle Jomillee Arcega?" Sir Lim asked and the students and parents did as I stand in front of the microphone

I smiled upon being able to see my friends at the crowd. Jexter who looks at me dearly and my friends who claps their hands with their proud and genuine smiles.

"Thank you Dhelmoreans" naka ngiti kong saad nang huminto sila sa pag palakpak

I held my head high as I took a deep breathe before stating my speech.

"Being here in front of all these dreamers just like me didn't even crossed my mind ever since I stepped my feet inside this marvelous university. Standing here gave me the ability to see the happiness and sadness in every student's eyes. Who wouldn't be happy if we just received our diplomas and medals? Who wouldn't be sad  upon realizing that this day can be the last for some of us? Last meetings, last pictures together, last hugs and all the other special things we can do with our friends and classmates."

What I have said made some students hold hands with their classmates. 

Some even smiled with tears in their eyes, having the realization that i just mentioned. Once again, I glanced towards the direction of my friends also to my family. They look so happy just like how i am.  "Looking back to those moments when we all chased those deadlines, when we realized that we stayed up until morning when we accidentally glanced outside our windows or the moment we saw our wall clocks. We were all busy running after those deadlines and goals but did you even notice that you already have a barely surviving soul? Are there even moments when you let your tired wings rest even for a single minute?"

Some students running late for their first classes because they pulled an all nighter and was only able to sleep ten to thirty minutes before the classes starts.

Some of us already lost their selves, they already lost their souls in the middle of our journey.

Some of us already lost their wills to live and most of us have forgotten already what the real meaning of happiness is. "Right after leaving the stage as you received your diploma and medals, did you have any regrets? Regrets of allowing the chance and moment to enjoy your youth and allow yourself to breathe only pass by and turn into waste? Noong mga panahong tinanggihan mo ang inbitasyon ng mga kaibigan mo para gumala, mag pahinga o sumaya. Nagsisisi na hindi ka sumama at sa halip ay pinili mo paring hawakan yung makakapal mong libro?"