Cruel Summer

14. It's Blue

[Camila's POV]

 August is about to start, which basically means there's only one month left before summer ends. Shawn has been helping me practice my driving, which is not that bad, I just don't do it very often even though I already have a licence. 

 " I don't even think you need help anymore." He says after I drive around the neighbourhood with him in the passenger seat.

 " I know, I just like having you around." I say making him laugh a little.

 I kiss him and we both smile against each other's lips, until we hear a knock on the glass. I pull away and see Olivia mouthing a "Can I talk to you?" and pointing at me. We both get out of the car and I stop next to Olivia as Shawn walks inside the house.

 " What's wrong?" I ask confused.

 " I wanted to tell you something, but I don't know if you'll feel awkward about it." She says resting her back on the side of the car.

 " Just say it." I tell her because now I'm curious.

 " I had sex with your brother."

 " Oh." I wasn't expecting this to be the subject. " I feel kinda weird asking about it, but how was it?"

 " It was really good." She says smiling.

 " I'm glad you liked it this time." I say laughing.

 " Me too." She laughs with me.

 " Are you still okay with it being just a summer fling?" I ask curiously.

 " Yeah, he's great but he's also leaving for Scotland in a month. I can't deal with that much distance, I don't think it would work." 

 Later, as I lay next to Shawn in my bed, I start to think about what she said. Shawn and I will be more than two thousand miles apart once he goes to Yale, which will happen in a month. We agreed in the whole long distance relationship thing, but I'm still scared it won't work.

 " What's on your mind?" I hear Shaw's voice, making me realize I just zoned out of the conversation we were having.

 " Sorry, just some stuff." I say playing with his fingers.

 " That doesn't sound good." He says looking at me.

 " I'm just going to miss you once summer is over." I say with a sad smile on my face.

 " Don't think about that. Let's just enjoy the most of the time we have left." He says kissing my forehead. " It's going to be hard, but I know we can make it work."

 The next few weeks we spend our time having the most fun we can together. Shawn takes me to this pier in a desert part of the beach one day, where we have a picnic and stay until it's dark to stargaze. It's by far one of the most romantic things we've done and I feel my heart so warm by the fact that he planned this out.

 " Mila…" He starts as we lay down watching the sky.

 " Yeah?" I ask still looking at the stars.

 " I love you." He says making me look at him. He cups my face with his hands and kiss me softly. " I'm in love with you."

 " I love you too." I say as a single tear rolls down my eye. " I can't believe this is actually happening, sometimes it still feels so surreal."

 We end up making love under the stars, in the dark, hoping no one will catch us, but if anyone did they just walked away. We're so caught up by the moment that we forget we don't have any condoms with us, so the next morning we buy a morning after pill for me to take just in case. I'm still kinda nervous about it, so the next week when my period comes I almost scream out of happiness. We don't mention this to anyone because our moms would have given us a much needed lecture, but my mom find weird I'm so happy during my period since I'm usually grumpy about it. Shawn is also so sweet during my periods, he keeps buying me chocolate and one day even offers to buy me tampons when I run out of it.

 As september is about to start, we've done exactly what he said, we enjoyed the most of what we had left. This last week has a bittersweet feeling to it, like it always have, but somehow this one is different. We're trying our best to pretend we're not about to be apart very soon, but it's still hard on both of us. Both my mom and Karen notice and are very sweet about it, giving us a lot of alone time and freedom to do whatever we want, but when the last day arrives we're still sad about it.