Cruel Summer

19. If I Bleed

[Shawn's POV]

 The moment I see Camila walking into the living room I feel like my heart just stopped. I've been dreaming about the day I would see her again, but nothing prepared me for this moment. She looks perfect, with those dark eyes, plump lips and long hair down her shoulders. All I want to do is walk towards her and take her in my arms, but I don't want her to feel uncomfortable, so I just smile trying to understand how we got in this position. She smiles back at me and for a second I believe everything will be fine, until I watch a tear roll down her face, and then she walks upstairs taking her suitcase with her.

 " I'll talk to her." Zayn says giving me a sympathetic look. He's the one who heard me cry and talk about her for hours during these six months, so he knows exactly what I'm feeling right now.

 He follows her upstairs while Charlotte goes help Sinu with something in the kitchen. My mom and Aaliyah went to the grocery store just before they arrived, but still haven't come back. I sit on the couch by myself trying to think what I'll tell her when we finally talk.

[Flashback]

 I keep listening to the static on my phone for a long time after she ends the call. I feel numb, like this isn't real. A few students look at me sitting and crying while they pass by, but none of them ask if I'm okay. The rest of the day goes by unnoticed by me, all I can do is replay her words in my head. My mom insists she'll come around, but I don't think so. She seemed so sure of her decision, and that's what scares me the most. I take my phone and decide to call the one person that will come closer to understand what I'm feeling right now: my best friend, who also happens to be her brother.

 " Hey, what's up, man?" Zayn says taking the call.

 " Hey." I say not trying to hide that I was just crying five minutes ago.

 " Is everything okay?" He asks noticing something is wrong. " Did you finally talk to Camila?"

 " Yes, I did." I say and then take a deep breath. " She finally answered my calls."

 " I told you she would eventually."

 " She asked for a break." I tell him.

 " She did what?" He asks confused.

 " You heard me. She doesn't want to talk to me until summer, not even on Christmas."

 " What the hell? I'll talk to her." He says sounding just as desperate as me.

 " I don't think that will change anything, she already made up her mind."

 " What are you going to do?" He asks waiting for me to find a solution.

 " What am I supposed to do? She won't talk to me." I say feeling frustrated. " I don't want to break her heart even more, so maybe the best option is to give her what she wants."

 That's when I decide that I want what's best for her, so if she thinks this is good for her then I'll do it. I just don't know if I'll be still alive until we finally see each other again. One thing is for sure, I won't give her up. If she needs time, then I'll give her time. I'll wait for as long as she wants me to.

[End of the flashback]

 Zayn comes back and tells me she wants to talk to me in her room. I hesitate at first because I have no idea what to expect, but I finally get up from the couch and walk upstairs. I stop in front of her door, scared of going in and hear her saying we're done for good. I don't think I can take that, but I still force myself to knock. I hear her voice for the first time in months telling me to come in, and suddenly it's hard to breath.

I get in and close the door behind me looking at the ground, because I'm terrified of what her eyes will tell me when I look at them. When I look up I see her resting her back against the window, her silhouette looks almost angelic as the sun gets in from behind her. My eyes find hers and I think I can finally breathe after six months of holding in. We stay quiet just looking at each other, but her eyes say everything I need to hear. I walk slowly towards her and she meets me halfway until we're very close, but not really touching. She closes her eyes for a second as a tear roll down her face, and in this moment I can't hold myself back anymore. I pull her to my arms like I've been dreaming about since I first left last september. Her body fits perfectly against mine and all we do is cry and breathe each other in for what could've been hours.