Epiphany

EP:33

Chapter 33

Angie's Perspective

"Too shy to say but I hope you stay."-Billie Eilish

•••••

THE weight was heavy on my shoulders, but not the weight of her in my arms. Her muffled tears and aggravating whines consumed my utter frustration. Although the weight on my shoulders and heart had nothing to do with her, it had everything to do with Jeremy. He sat across from me in the spacious living room as we stared one another down. It had been a while since we'd had a real conversation and I had figured it was now or never.

     Jamal was off at school and Daisy was supposed to be watching Jayla today, but she had last-minute soccer practice leaving me to take care of her for the rest of the day. Believe me, I was drained and the last thing I desired to do was to have a full-length conversation regarding the problems within my marriage at the moment, but it had to be done. The only thing that physically separated Jeremy and me was a huge glass table placed in the middle of us, but mentally there were huge walls and multiple barriers separating us from resolving our many issues.

I rocked Jayla back and forth in my arms trying my hardest to read Jeremy, but his face held no emotions it was just blank, which it had been for some time now. Jayla had finally stopped crying falling asleep on my chest.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" I asked Jeremy breaking the silence.

"What is there to say?" He placed his hands in his lap leaning back on the couch.

There was only so much I could take and I wasn't going to go back and forth and argue with this man, it was time to move on. I can admit I was in the wrong for not telling Jeremy about my little meeting with Quincy, but he also played a part in it as well. Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions about the situation was all his wrongdoing something he would not own up to for the love of God.

"Look Jeremy I understand where you are coming from, but this has been going on long enough. Packing your bags and leaving all over a petty little fight that happened over a month ago is ridiculous."

He sighed closing his eyes.

"Angie I have explained to you time and time again I did not leave because of the fight. I left because you don't respect me as a man or as your husband. I left because you don't know how to communicate and you refuse to tell me when something is wrong. Also you refuse to be honest and upfront with me, which is what marriage is all about."

I took in every word of what he said, "well you're not perfect either Jeremy."

"I agree, which is why I think we need counseling." He pulled a light blue folded brochure out of his jacket pocket sliding it onto the glass table.

"Hell no, anything that we need to fix as a married couple will stay between these walls. I don't want others in our business."

"Angie we're going to therapy that is the only way I'll even consider moving back home and trying to work on this marriage."

I didn't believe in therapy, it was pointless to me. A random stranger invading your personal business portraying the roll of knowing and understanding you. Those people get paid to try and convince you that they understand your circumstances when in fact, you were just a pretty little check for them. I refused to put myself or my family through that.