Epiphany

EP:39

Chapter 39

Angie's Perspective

"Distance can not only be physical but mental as well."-Kelis Ajanee

•••••

     STEPPING outside of my comfort zone wasn't the easiest thing for me to do, especially when it came to my love life. I always took charge and made most of the decisions in my marriage. You could say I was a little of a control freak but to me, a healthy relationship required balance and structure. Jeremy provided for the family bringing home the funds and I kept the family together taking care of the household and that's how I liked it. It was predictable and stable.

      My main motive right now though was to get my marriage back on the right track and that required taking risks and doing things I wouldn't normally do so right now Jeremy and I were sitting side by side in marriage counseling. There was an awkward silence that held over the room as we sat across from one another on the blue lounge sofa. The therapist sat before us jotting down some information on her notepad as I played with my fingers looking around the quiet cold room. Jeremy and I exchanged looks several times, but neither one of us knew what to say. We had been here for twenty minutes exactly and the need for small talk had evaporated.

"Alright, so Jeremy and Angie I want you two to do a small ice-breaking exercise for me."

Here we go.

"Sure," Jeremy said turning his body around in my direction.

"I want you two to say out loud three things you love about one another." She put down her notepad staring at us waiting for our responses.

"Who goes first?" Jeremy asked observing my face for the first time ever today.

I shrugged my shoulders not really caring about participating, but since it was necessary I would play along.

"You go first Jeremy." The therapist spoke.

"Alright um," He thought for a few seconds before continuing.

"Angie I've always loved the fact that you're headstrong and opinionated. It's a breath of fresh air since most of the people around me always agree no matter what leaving nothing up for discussion."

"That's a good one Jeremy." The therapist interrupted.

"I love the fact that you're so confident and strong all the time as well. Though you appreciate it when I do, you don't need me to tell you that you're beautiful and you overcome all challenges, those outside and inside of our marriage."

His answers were very thoughtful.

"Alright go ahead Angie."

There were many things I loved about Jeremy but something about being put on the spot wasn't easy for me. It was more intimidating to express my feelings in front of a complete stranger.

Let's just say I don't wear my heart on my sleeve.

"I love his determination he works so hard, anything he wants he'll get it."

It was the first thing that came to mind.

"That's a great response Angie but try mentioning qualities that you love about him more so as a husband or lover rather than an individual."