Epiphany

EP:35

Chapter 35

Owen's Perspective

"The life in front of you is far more important than the life behind you."-Joel Osteen

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HER short brown hair blocked out my eyesight as she laid next to me on the bed soaking up her high. She was oblivious to her actions and effect on me. Her fragrance had me hooked, the smell of baby oil and cocoa butter had me ready to rip her clothes off and fuck her brains out, my high state didn't defuse the situation. The room felt hot and heavy due to the smoke surrounding it. We had hotboxed the bedroom blasting mellow and chill hip hop music. Silence conveyed us as we reminisced in our many thoughts. Her pretty eyes sat low, a dark red spread over the whiteness of her eyes from the effects of smoking earlier. Tiana laid with her hands in her lap looking up at the ceiling. I nudged her shoulder grabbing her attention. Her eyes met mine before roaming all over my face.

"What you thinkin' bout?"

She hesitated before speaking, "my mother and sister." The words left her mouth quietly.

I had no idea how to respond to that. Tiana never really brought up her family that much. I knew she was on bad terms with her sister and that her mother was deceased, but that was all she ever spoke on besides a few memories she randomly brought up sometimes but I never wanted to force her into a sensitive conversation that I couldn't relate to.

"We can talk about it if you want." I scooted closer to her.

"It's a little touchy."

I grabbed her hands gently messaging them, "I'm only gon listen mama."

She smiled sighing, "it's a lot I need to get off my mind that I've kept in for so long from you."

"We got all night." My high was slightly coming down.

Her eyes never left mine as they watched me with interest. It's like she was reading me to see if she could trust me or not. I could tell it was hard for Tiana to open up to people, it had taken her nearly three months to even let me in on some things about her personal life. She scooted even closer closing all empty space between us. Her hands sat planted on my head rubbing my waves with her fingertips.

"If I share some things with you do you promise not to judge me?" There was fear laced in her voice as her touch relaxed me.

"Like I said I'm only here to listen."

She nodded before closing her eyes.

"After my mother passed I went through a lot of things Owen. Things I'm not proud of."

I placed my arms around her waist holding her.

"I entered a long and horrible state of depression it was so bad sometimes I could barely get out of bed in the mornings. I even went days without eating or talking to people on various occasions. My anxiety increased where sometimes I wanted to feel other sources of pain besides the loss of my mother. There were multiple times where I felt like the world was crashing down on me and I wanted it to stop, so to feel other feelings I'd cut my wrists or harmed myself purposely. Drug medication overdoses, alcohol to not think about the pain, and even...a suicide attempt."