Niall it's been a week since i told Jade and i've regretted it ever since, i just want to hold her in my arms and never let go of her, the pain of missing her is worse than the pain of what she done "have i made a mistake?" i ask Alex my eyes concentrated on the wall infront of me my hands wrapped around a mug. i feel like telling Jade that i didn't want to see her till tour was a mistake because i'm hurting her, even though she's really hurt me the last thing i want to do is hurt her because i'm meant to be the person who makes her happy, i'm making her miss out on Aria, miss out on times where all the group is together, we're missing out on each other. "well no" Alex mumbles scratching his head i give him a confused look and he sighs "if it was me, well i wouldn't be able to do it, id run back to Perrie if this is how i was feeling" he tells me i just nod chewing my lip slightly "because she's literally done the worst to you, yet you still want her in your life, if that's not love then i don't know what is" he tells me shrugging a little i just sit and think for a minute, i adore Jade of course i want her to be in my life, i wanna love it with her and experience everything together. the back door slides open revealing Louis and Eleanor with Aria in Louis arms everyone's outside enjoying the sun, they've all been so good to me lately and everyone is constantly looking after me and Aria they've really proved how good of friends they are in the past week or so. Louis hands Aria over to me and i sit her on the island infront of me my hands on her sides supporting her she looks into my eyes a huge smile on her face while she reaches out and grabs onto my hair making me smile, i think if i didn't have Aria this would have been a lot more harder of a situation for me she's got me through all the pain because all she does is smile, she hasn't got a clue about any bad in the world and she's my reminder that everything will be okay no matter the amount of pain i go through. i look into her bright blue eyes that are shining from the reflection of the light "i gotta go"i mumble keeping my eyes focused on Aria for a second i then pass her over to Alex grabbing my jacket "go where?" Louis exclaims as i run out the kitchen grabbing my shoes by the door "i gotta go get her back" i tell him as him eleanor and alex all stand at the kitchen door and have never looked more confused i just shrug opening the door and running out and into the car. Jade i sigh as i look at myself in the mirror my hair is all curly and wet seeing as i finally decided to wash it after a week of putting it off, theres huge black rings under my eyes most likely from the lack of sleep i've been getting because once i get into bed all's my mind wants to do is stare at the ceiling and wonder what if, my eyes have redness through them from all the crying i've done and my clothes are baddy from the fact i've hardly ate much. but i deserve to look like this. after what i did, how i hurt the one person who gave me everything he could, i deserve to feel the way i do because i should have never have done it, whether i was black out drunk or not it wasn't right i sit back on the bed my head falling into my hands. "oh so my plan didn't work then" i hear a male voice exclaim as the front door slams against the wall but my anxiety shoots through the roof and my lungs suddenly forgot how to work, my feet feeling to heavy to move them "what do you mean plan?" another male voice says but one i seem to recognise, i take a deep breath slowly gripping onto the headrest of the bed to stand up "i suppose it worked for a while" the first voice says as i reach the bedroom door i put all my weight into the handle as i grip it as tightly as i possibly can "what did you do?" i hear the second voice scream a bang occurring making me jump out my skin "i put stuff in her drink you fucking idiot" jadeameliabadwi
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