It was a tense night in hell, there was something wrong. Everyone knew it, but they didn't know where it was coming from. What could possibly be causing all of hell to be so jumpy? So, afraid.
They finally got there answers when a certain someone a...
(That's your swimsuit, you can change the colors if you want.)
Alastor smiled profusely down at you because in reality, he didn't know what to say.
How would anyone react if an overlord decided to rub their romp on you? Exactly, pure confusion.
"Loosen up, dick deer~" You slurred, stopping your movements. "Actually, I just remembered a better way to lighten up!"
———
Oh, how Husk hates water. Maybe the fact he shares some characteristics with a feline is the reason behind that.
Either way, he didn't want to stay in the pool any longer than he had to.
"It's so warm~ I wanna drown someone~" You said from the deep end, with Al on your right and Alastor on your left.
"Yeah, like yourself? Because you've almost died 3 times already." Al murmured.
You wrapped an arm around the humans shoulders and brought him close. "Shut that sweet succulent voice you have." You harshly grabbed his face and locked eyes with him. "Or I'll make you."
Al laughed embarrassingly loud, trying to contain his fluster.
"You think he has a sweet voice?" Alastor asked from beside you. "I believe it's too plain."
"Too bad not everyone is e-extra, just because you deep throated a whole microphone doesn't mean you're special~" You hiccuped.
The Radio Demon let out a staggered white noise.
If someone doesn't sober you up soon, someone will die.
"Aww, Husky~ What's the matter?" You whined and drunkly swam to the cat. The male proceeded to go on a whole rant about how dirty pool water can be, also how water is utterly and fully horrible.
"I wouldn't say this water is anywhere near dirty, it's not even full of chemicals like other pools. Y/N did an amazing job cleaning it." Charlie explained, she was wearing a black one piece while Vaggie was wearing a two piece, the top was white with two X's across the chest and the bottoms were purple.
Alastor was wearing a sort of, one piece, grandpa sailor swimsuit that was striped with red and a lighter red.
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Al, he just wore a plain black trunks.
Niffty wore a flowy dark pink one piece, Husk had grey trunks, Angel Dust had a black two piece.
"And how would you know what a real human pool looks like, Charlie?" You turned your head over to the princess. "You've never been to Earth."
The girl rubbed her arm sheepishly and said, "Yeah, I hope humans have normally clean pools then."
You tapped the bottom of your chin with a gloved finger, and yes, no one could get those damn gloves off of you so you wore them in the water.
"Wait, you do know you can never go to h-heaven right?" You hiccuped once again.
Charlie looked up at you.
"You being born is basically a sin in it of itself. You may never be allowed to go to heaven because you were born a pure blood demon."
Everyone went silent to listen to you.
"So, just by you living and breathing,
That's a sin."
Suddenly, you flopped on your back and floated on top of the water. "Or~ you can just tell the big man up there to suck a dick!"
The deer demon and Al sighed at you. The human grabbed your ankle and dragged you to them.
You floated right below the males, your head by Alastor's torso and you legs by Al's torso.
"Threesome?"
The Radio Demon pushed your head under the water, with an angry smile on.
"ALASTOR NO!"
————
You groaned loudly, it had been the next day and you were laying on the kitchen counter holding a water bottle and a container of painkillers.
"I hate myself."
Husk shook his head at you. "I know that already." He said.
Your head was pounding, and you felt like shit. Not to mention the memory you got this morning.
It was of your boss wearing a purple suit.
Odd memory if you recall it.
You didn't want to think about it too much because then your head will be a bitch and hurt more from the thoughts.
"I should ban you from the bar." Husk commented and crossed his arms. "Please do." You replied, rubbing your temples.
"So.. let me get this straight. I got so drunk I danced on a pole, made Alastor get on the stage, then danced on him, then we all went to the pool, told Charlie how she could never go to heaven, THEN I asked Al and Alastor for a threesome?!"
"Oh, and Alastor almost drowned you after that."
"Noted."
Sluggishly you got off the counter and walked over to Husk, putting your head on his shoulder.
"I done with myself. Existentially and mentally." You sighed heavily. "Cross that, in all forms."
The cat chuckled at you and patted your back.
It was quiet for a moment and Husk had thought you had fallen asleep on him but he was proved wrong when Charlie came busting into the kitchen and you jumped a good 10 feet in the air.
"Y/N! You know that guy you were looking for? Well, good news! He is on his way! Bad news, me and Vaggie have to go to see my dad." The princess yelled.
You slowly nodded your head and gave a thumbs up, after that Charlie dashed back out of the kitchen.
Great, now you have to deal with a stalker. As if your head isn't throbbing enough already. The worse part isn't that he is coming, the worst part is that if he tries to talk to fast or move to quickly your head will explode.
"Do you want me to be there with you? Or one of the smiles?" Husk asked.
You gave a confused expression. "Smiles?"
"Alastor and Al."
"Oh." You said, realizing that their love for smiling nonstop was giving them elusive nicknames. "No, I think I'll be fine."
The cat nodded at you and watched you walk out of the room and down the hall.
All that was left was to wait for this man, talk with him, then murder him. Simply as that.
