The Prince's Heart.

CHAPTER 43.

Anan

I feel my heart beating like never before. It's this awakening feeling knowing that this very moment could either bring an end to your life before it could even begin. I had never spoken to the king, I don't think anyone in my family had ever. Generations past generations of Farsi Women had never been in the presence of a royal, till ours.

Sitting down right here, I didn't know what to do, should I speak? Should I stand up?. The thing that I feared was the way he sat down like he wanted to sit there. Had he seen Ahsab and I earlier?.

"Ayesha"The way he says my name steadily makes me gulp in fear.

I don't answer because I already know the ends that are about to loose. I believe if I answer then it might create an absurdity that even I can't defer. "Do you know the taboos you've caused my son to break"

I don't speak. My heart stops at his words, you know that moment when you know that anything from your life could change your life but only for the worst. "Don't think I didn't see you going off to Paris with him, sneaking up on each other. I hope you know that's all you'll ever be to him. Someone he can sneak up with. Nothing more, only less"

I hold back my tears. I know that's all I'll ever be, why else would I take a step backwards from him?. He was engaged to Princess Farah. I knew that, we were of different status, I knew that. That was why I decided to take a step back. "How would your father feel?"

Of course he knew about Dad. He probably did his research on me, he wanted to know who was a threat to his sons future and it was I.

"I suppose you already know where he is"

What?.

"What do you mean"My voice comes out as a whisper only because I'm afraid not only of the answer but of the question I asked. My father was my only reason to hold on to life and finding out where he was of to even though it would be a blow. It would be a relief cause then I would believe he was okay.

"He tried to communicate to you many times through the Palace"He explains.

What?. "What are you saying?"My voice almost breaks but I held it all in.

"Didn't Abdullah tell you?, of course he knew. I'm sure they ran it by him"he replies. "I don't think my son has your best interest at heart cause then he'd obviously tell you, your father doesn't have much time left"

My whole world started spinning.Your father doesn't have much time left, his words echo in my head.Didn't Abdullah tell you. I couldn't handle this. I place a hand over my heart and I feel tears start to roll down my cheeks. My Dad was dying.

The King still speaks but I don't hear anything because I feel my world getting blurry. It's when he places an envelope on my lap that I remember where I am and I'm snapped out of my grief.

"Inside that envelope is two plane tickets to Saudi for you and your Mother, a printout of your father's email to you and a cheque for a hundred million dollars. I want you to leave my son and Mana forever. This isn't a plea or a request. Its an order, Ayesha"

I don't say anything as my vision gets blurry, instead I tore open the envelope to see whether what he was saying was true about the printout and it was. I stare in shock to baffled to pick it up, to scared to read it. After assessing me for a while he leaves without one final world and I'm left alone.

A sob escapes my mouth and I pick up the print out with shaking hands. I open it and I start to read.

My dearest Ayesha,

I hope this letter finds you in good health.
It's taken me so long to finally reach out for you knowing I'd failed you in life. My reason being none but not having the courage to look you in the eye and tell you I had made the decision to leave you. The truth is for so long I had known that our time together was short lived after I had begun to visit the doctor, and I couldn't, Anan. I couldn't allow you to see me die knowing the bond that we shared. Because even though I was the one dying and you'd be left alone I felt like it was the other way round. I didn't want to leave you Ayesha.
And I'm a coward for I left Mana, I broke your heart and my heart. You didn't hide that fact that you needed me but I need you a billion times more. You are the love of my life. Nothing could lessen my love for you, for it is eternal.
I moved to Madinah to die in this city but till today I'm alive and I can only call that a miracle from Allah because of even if I do die he'd want me to die by your side, and that's what I want more so. I'm surviving merely because each day I wake up is a reminder that you're still gone. A daughter should never have to beg her father for a relationship my Ana, and I'm sorry if these past years you have believed you had to. Everyday without you has been hard and I struggle daily knowing I broke you.
I beg you to come to Madinah but I solely understand if you don't want to see me ever, I wouldn't want to either. I just want you to know that the best decision I made was marrying your mother because it got me you I started to feel things, feel happy. I love you my sweet daughter. You were the one. You were the only one and you are amazing.
I feared death but what I should've feared was the un lived life. This is a good reason for you to finally let go, Ayesha.
Keep growing and when life hurts you cause it will remember hurt is good, it means you're finally free.
Wherever you find yourself know that my love resides with you.

Your undeserving father.

I reread it and each time I cry more. Knowing he needed me at this moment and I wasn't there made me cry more. I'm sobbing uncontrollably when I feel Ahsab's presence and I look up. His eyes are clouded with worry.

"Ana"he reaches out for my shoulder but I push him away.

"How could you do this to me?"I shove the letter in his chest. He grasps it and opens it and I see the realization cross his face and I know it's true. Everything just hurts more, why?. Why?.

"Why didn't you tell me?"I'm crying, I can't even begin to wipe my tears because I don't care to. The tears express nothing I'm feeling.

"I was going to, Ana. I just couldn't"his jaw is clenched tight.

"You know I would go"I muffle.

"Yes"

"And you're selfish Ahsab"I say. "You wanted me to stay here with you while my father was dying alone"

He's quiet and I know it's true. That just makes me cry more, Ahsab's eyes are to the floor and I know he can't look at me.

"I'm sorry for every bit of it Ana"his voice is breaking to and he reaches to hold me but I break from his grasp but he only tightens his hold on me. That's when I look up at him and his eyes are to are filled with water.

"How long have you known"I whispered.

He doesn't answer.

"How long ago did he send me this"I yell again.

"Before the conclave"he answers curtly.

"That"I mutter. "That long ago Ahsab"I'm shocked. I'm shocked that he would keep such a huge thing from me, he saw how I was affected by my fathers disappearance and yet he couldn't even think of me. What kind of love was this?.

"Why would you do this, Ahsab. I thought you loved me"My voice is so quiet and full of misery.

"I do love you Ana"he cups my face in his hands. "I love you more than anything and I don't want to lose you, ever"

I carefully release his hold on my face before I finally answer him. "This isn't love"