The Rose Code : My Wattpad Blog

D: May 6, 2020 Missing Mom

The last time I visited my mom was on Wednesday, March 5th. She smiled when she saw me. She might not know how to use a fork, count to ten, or write her name, but she still knows me, for now. Alzheimer's had stolen most of her old memories and the ability to make new ones.

She sat in her chair in the dining room with the other nursing home residents waiting for their super. When she recognized me, she stood and held out her arms for a hug. I hugged her and said, "Hello, Mom." We both said, "I love you." I sat down in the empty chair beside her and commented on her pretty turquoise sweater and green and gold Mardi Gras beads. I had gotten her the sweater for her 70th birthday on February 5th. I didn't recognize the beads. An aide said, "She won the beads at Bingo." It's hard to have a real conversation with my mom, because she would usually forget what she wanted to say mid-sentence. As I talked, she smiled, nodded, held my hand, and said, "I love you." Truthfully, that's all I needed to hear.

When the aides served the food, Mom asked me, "Do you want some?" She repeated the question a dozen times after that. I told her, "I ate before I came," every time she asked. Realizing I was distracting her from eating, I gave her one last hug and said, "Goodbye." If I knew then, what I know now, I would have stayed longer.

On March 6th, the first two cases of a new Coronavirus called Covid 19 occurred in Pennsylvania. Soon after, the PA Governor closed all nursing homes to visitors, because most of the deaths from the virus occurred in people over 65. On March 18th, the first death from Covid occurred in PA. One week later, Pennsylvania had 1,127 cases and 11 deaths. The experts advised that the cases would continue to increase exponentially unless people practiced social distancing, so on April 1st, the PA Governor issued Stay At Home orders until at least May. People couldn't leave their homes, except to get groceries and medications or go to the doctors or an essential job.

Since I couldn't visit my mom, I sent her cards every week telling her how much I loved and missed her. The aide at the nursing home said, "She carries them everywhere." Before quarantine, I would go see Mom every other week, so she wouldn't forget me. On April 6th, I hadn't hugged my mom for a month, and Pennsylvania had 11,510 cases and 150 deaths from Covid 19, more than ten times the amounts of a month ago. The United States had 330,891 cases and 8,910 deaths. My county in PA, Northumberland, only had 14 cases though and no deaths.

On April 18th, only one month after the first death in PA, 31,069 Pennsylvanians had Covid 19, and 836 of them had died. Northumberland had 67 cases and still no deaths. The United States had double the cases at 661,712 and almost four times the deaths at 33,049. Most of the states had some kind of quarantine in place to try to flatten the curve, so the hospitals would not be overwhelmed by Covid 19 patients. People had to stand six feet away from each other and wear masks in public.

Today is May 6th, 2020. It's been two months since I saw my mom. Northumberland County in PA has 107 cases of Covid19 and zero deaths. Pennsylvania has 50,957 cases and 3,012 deaths. The United States has 1,171,510 cases and 68,279 deaths. The world has 3,517, 345 cases and 243,401 deaths. The world will never be the same as before the Coronavirus.

Nursing homes are still closed to visitors. Sunday will be the first Mother's Day I wasn't with my mom, since my birth. Because of Coronavirus, I must stay at home and miss many activities I used to enjoy. I miss going to my writing group twice a month. I miss shopping for groceries without a mask. I miss singing at church with other believers. But most of all, I miss hugging my mom.