Forever - Johnny Cade

Chapter 14:

Everyone  was gathered around in a circle, around Soda, arms crossed and frowns on their faces, and sorrow in their eyes.

No one saying anything. They were just watching Soda cry.

It's weird I've never seen Soda cry.

I've seen everyone in the gang cry, except for Soda and Dally, and now I've seen Soda.

He was still equally as beautiful when he was crying, the tears in his eyes making them glossy and shiny, his nose and cheeks a pink shade that adds colour to his tan face.

But he was in pain.

"What's wrong?" I ask after a few seconds of examining the situation.

Darry and Pony looked back at Johnny and I, Darry looking at Pony before looking back at Soda.

Pony took a deep breath and slowly walked up to us, "Sandy... she cheated on Soda" he whispers before turning back around to face his brother.

My heart hurt for him.

I've never met Sandy, but I knew Soda was so in love with her.

I even found a ring in his dresser while I was looking for one of his flannels to borrow.

Soda was serious about Sandy... to bad Sandy was only playing games.

I walk over to Soda who was sitting on the couch, head in his hands as he sniffled slightly.

I didn't say anything, instead, I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed tightly.

His sniffling calmed down a bit, and his breathing settled.

"Thanks Kinsley" he says as he wipes his cheeks and eyes with the back of his hands.

I give him a soft comforting smile.

We sat there for a few more minutes in absolute silence before Soda got up from the couch, walking lazily to his shared room with Pony.

Once Soda went in his room, and his door was shut, we all stared at each other.

It's as if we all wanted to ask the same question, but know one was asking.

"Does he know who it was with?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"No, she didn't tell him, only that she was moving to Florida, when Soda asked why, she said that she was pregnant, Soda tried to get her to stay, even proposed to her, thats when she said it was another guys baby" Darry says as he rubs his forehead with his hand.

"I did not see it coming" Darry says as he walks over to the phone.

"I'm gonna make a few calls" he says.

Everyone left, only Johnny stayed.

We were in my room, trying to stay quiet because Darry was on the phone.

"Poor Soda" I say, fidgeting with my hands, "yeah, he loved her so much" Johnny added, "did you ever meet her?" he asked me.

"No, I wanted to, but now, I'm glad I didn't" I tell him, and he nods his head. 

"Do you know what it feels like to be in love?" I ask him.

Johnny goes still, his hands quit playing with the bedsheets and his eyes widen.

"N-no" he stutters, "ha-have you?" he asks, regaining his composure.

I shake my head no. 

Sure Johnny gets me going sometimes, and I can be myself around him, and we always have so much fun together, but it's not love.

I only ever loved one person in my entire life; Joey, and he's gone.

"I loved someone, but not in that way" I add, and Johnny nods his head curiously.

"Can I be honest with you?" I ask Johnny, turning to face him.

He cocks his head to the side, "yeah, of course you can, Kins" he says.

"With everything that happened to me at the... you know..." I trail off, and Johnny nodded his head, knowing what I was talking about.

"It happened all my life. I could never trust... or love the two people who I was supposed to trust and love the most" I tell him.

"The only man in my life showed only hatred to me" I tell him, "what about Joey?" he asks.

His name jerks at my heart, "he was just a kid" I tell him trying not to cry.

"Growing up with so much hate... only ever really knowing hatred... I'm not sure I'll ever be able to love... or know what love is" I tell him, regaining my composure.

Johnny continues to look at me, "what about the gang?" he asks.

"Theres sometimes, where the flashbacks are so strong that I... I get scared of them" I tell him honestly, "it only lasts for a few seconds, but it's there, and I always have to re start" I add.

"I thought I would be okay after I was away from them, I thought everything would be different, but... that stuff never leaves you" I tell him. 

Johnny looks at me meaningfully before saying, "I know how you feel". 

I smiled slightly. 

He's so sweet, so innocent, so pure, even after going through everything in his past.

"Thanks for listening, Johnny" I thank him, "no problem, Kins" he says, "and just to let you know. The gang; Darry, Two, Steve, Soda, Dally, Pony, they all love you, they're all there for you" he says giving me a warm smile.

His smile made me feel slightly better, and to try and take my mind off of the bad thoughts, I tried to make some happy thoughts.

"What about you?" I ask Johnny, his eyes widening. 

I knew the question would make Johnny flustered, that's exactly why I asked it, because seeing him flustered makes me happy for some odd reason.

It's like watching a puppy trying to go down the stairs.

"I-" he says, his cheeks turning rosy.

I chuckle, "I know" I tell him sincerely.

"Are you staying?" I ask looking up at the dark window signalling it was night.

"I think I'll go" he says, "you sure, it's dark out, and no one is with you" I tell him and he reaches into his pocket.

"Don't worry, I got protection" he says as he gets up from my bed and walks out my bedroom door.

I sit on my bed thinking about our conversation, and how easy it was to tell Johnny one of the secrets I've been keeping from everyone in my life.

I told him,  just like that.

AYOOOO

Sorry this chapter is kind of short, thought it would be longer.

ANYWAYS! I hope you enjoyed, till next chapter!