Forever - Johnny Cade

Chapter 32:

Darry never found out that Johnny and I were in the bed together, one of us not on the ground.

We woke up early, in the same position as I had fallen asleep. We made a bed on the floor and made it look as if someone had slept in it.

Now Johnny and I sit on the couch, our feet on it, legs criss crossed apple sauce as we sit facing sideways, me in front Johnny behind me as he plays with my hair as we listen to Pony read to us in a calming tone.

Pony eventually had to stop reading once it was too dark out for him to see, we thanked him, and he went to go to bed.

Sometimes I forget he's two years younger than me.

Johnny and I sneak back into my room, the makeshift bed still on the floor, quietly giggling as we successfully shut the door without anyone noticing. 

Everyone was gone by now, and Soda was in bed with Pony, while Darry was reading the same book he's been reading for a month in his room.

We sat on the bed and cuddled for a bit, realizing that we both weren't tired we did something else.

I swung my leg over his, straddling him as I gently cup his cheeks, still bruised, but no longer swollen. His hands rest on my hips, his palms almost brushing my butt.

I admire his big brown doe eyes and then lean in for a kiss.

His hands tighten on me as I kiss him, sucking in his bottom lip.

I could do this forever. 

His touch. His warmth, His body underneath mine set me on fire from the inside out.

Words couldn't describe the way he made me feel, and words couldn't describe how much he meant to me.

I felt like a fool. 

I've only ever been betrayed and hurt by men. The only one I could have ever trusted; dead. But now I have seven on them who would die for me as much as I would die for them.

I've never realized how much I've healed since Darry took me in.

He hardly knew me, and had six other mouths to feed and two jobs to work, but he took me in, treated me as if I were his younger sister.

If it weren't for him, Steve, Two, Pony, Soda, Dally and Johnny... I would be running in the forests with my brother. But as much as I was healing, I was still broken, and the thought of joining my brother still often crossed my mind.

It was so much easier then.

I could've taken my life and no one would have cared, I had nothing left for me anyway, but now... now it's not so easy.

Now I have something to live for. 

My family.

Not by blood. 

But by heart.

And mine seemed to be pumping harder than ever.

Thinking about Johnny, and how much I... I don't even know how to explain how I feel for him.

It was the best feeling in the world. 

I've never felt so good in my entire life, not even when I was doing drugs.

But in a way Johnny was a drug, and I was addicted. 

I let out a moan, an actual moan as I felt Johnny's hips move underneath mine, and my face heated up like a hot summer day.

I pulled back, my hand on my mouth, and Johnny only smiled at me, "I'm sorry" I apologize awkwardly.

"It's okay. It's natural. It's normal, and I like it... a lot" he says, reaching his hand out to take my hand off my mouth, placing it on his shoulder.