Fear will not stop me

Dinner

Lena's POV

I walk into the Apartment, that Lisa and I now shared, and put down the grocery.

"Jordan." I call.

"YEAHHHHH." he yells

"Could you come help me please."  I yell back

"UGGHHHH." I hear him say out of frustration.

I promise this kid is working my last nerve. He is so defiant. And its only getting worst. I don't know why I even put you with it. I try to keep my reserve most of the time because that's not who I am. I refuse to let a teenager change who I am as a person. But I can say it is hard to do that sometimes.

"You know what? Nevermind." I yell at him.

I don't have time to deal with his attitude today. I will not let him ruin this dinner tonight. Im already nervous. I was suppose to be meeting Lisa's parents tonight. Why? I have no idea. I guess from her side of it we have been dating for more than 3 months. I could understand where she was coming from but my feelings just have not been as strong as hers. She's great, but she has yet to give me that feeling that Stef gave me over a year ago. That feeling that make me wet just thinking about her. That feeling to want to be wrapped up in the same skin. She just hadn't done that for me yet, if ever. But I do like things about her. Like how accomplished she is in her own right. She is a Yale Graduate with a degree in Geology, which is how we met. We became fast friends because she was helping some of the kids at the Center that I volunteered once a week.

I finished putting away the groceries and head to the bedroom to freshen up before I start dinner. I'm sure I wont have time to change after making this dinner because of course I will have no help. Lisa never helps with dinner. And she never help with the clean up either. I must be crazy to put up with this.

As I put the pork chops into the over Lisa announces that she is home.

"Lena?"

"In the Kitchen." I say

"Hey. How's dinner coming?" she asks coming up to kiss me.

I turn my head to avoid the kiss

"My day was fine. How about yours?" I say sarcastically.

"Please don't start Lena. I've had a shitty day."

"Please don't curse." I says getting more irritated.

"Dinner hasn't even started and you're already starting. I see how tonight is going to go."

"Well tonight wasn't even my idea. It was yours. I don't understand why we are doing this anyway. You already said that they don't approve of this "Lesbian circus" so why do they insist on them meeting me?" I stare at her waiting for an answer.

"I don't know Lena. But I do know that I have expressed how much you mean to me and that... well that I'm falling in love with you."

I am shocked. She takes a long pause waiting for a response. But I really don't have one.

"Look I know that when we first started dating, what the rules were. I understood then but I love you Lena and you may not feel the same way that I feel but I'm hoping that I can change that. I'm not Stef. And I'm not trying to be. I'm trying to be the person that knocks you  off of your feet. the one that you can talk to about anything. The one that will be there for you when you need. I know that the last couple of weeks have been a little rough and I haven't been here mentally but I want to be here for you."

She sighs as she waits for a response, and again I have nothing to say.

"Look, You don't have to say anything right now. I know its a lot to digest. Just think about it. Lets see how tonight goes. Im sure that they will love you when they get to know you and love you as much as I do."