What Is This Feeling? ~ BillDip

Am I Broken?

Dipper's POV

I'm so embarrassed. It's been a few days now since...the incident... It felt strangely good to hold him as I did, but at the same time, there's Wendy. She and I have been dating for almost a year now. What is she going to say to what happened with Bill and me? No, I can't think about that right now...

"Hey, babe, you good?" I looked over and Wendy gazed into my eyes with her beautiful smile.

I blushed a little and sighed, "Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking."

A soft hand brushed mine, and I looked over to see my pen out, my thumb clicking away madly. She looked at me again, and I knew I couldn't hide it anymore.

"Let me guess...You got in a fight with Mabel, didn't you?" She said softly.

"Wha-? Oh, yeah, that's what it is. Definitely. Yeah, she insists we get another pig." I lied, maybe not quite yet.

She smiled sweetly and hugged me tight; I knew she loved me, and I loved her. I traced my hand down her ginger hair and lifted her head to meet mine. Those eyes, those lips...I gave her a short peck on the lips and looked back at our view of the city. A sigh left her mouth.

"What is it?"

"I...I love you, you know that, right?" I nodded, "But we've been going out for a year now, and nothing has happened. No sex, no proposal, no moving in with each other. Just this," She motioned to our surroundings, "just a few stolen kisses and passing glances. I can't keep going like this. Are we ever going to take a step forward in this relationship?"

My cheeks burned. I knew exactly what she wanted, but this was not a good time. At all. "Oh, uh, are you sure now is the right time? I mean, we both have a lot going on in our lives." I had to come up with something...

"Dear god. Okay, we are in my car, all alone, on a hill with a beautiful view of the city. Pretty romantic if you ask me. And who says this would do any harm? Even if it's just this once, I'll leave you alone after that. Please." She crept towards me on all fours, licking her lips. I hate to admit it, but it did sound rather *ahem* fun...

Suddenly, a voice engulfed my head and all time stopped. 'What is it? Gonna make fun of me, laugh in my face? Go ahead, I don't care anymore...'

No. I can't. I love two people at once, and I can't treat Wendy this way. "W-wendy. I'm sorry, I can't."

"Of course you can't! Ugh, get out of my car. You can walk back to the Mystery Shack. We're through." She sat up and thrust open the door behind me.

"Wait, let me explain!" I tried to shout over the roar of her engine. She pushed me out with her boot and drove off without looking back. "Dammit!" I cussed to the sky and collapsed. A whole year of my life-gone just like that!

I just stayed there on the ground, sobbing and cursing. Flashes of memories came to me: fighting with her, fighting for her, dancing with her, laughing with her, crying with her. It's all gone.

I stayed there for what felt like an hour. I glanced at my watch and saw that it had only been about 20 minutes or so. I pushed myself off the ground and dusted off some dirt that had been picked up when I was initially kicked out. I should head back.

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By the time I made it back, the sun was just starting to disappear behind the mountains. My feet were sore, my head ached ever so slightly, and I just wanted to rest. I walked through the front door of the Shack and announced my return.