Another week drifted by, even though it was a week that was similar to the one prior to it, in a way where I'd barely contacted or texted Cameron - save for the time after the party when Cameron was back at his house. He had snapped a picture of the book, that I had given to him, which was sitting on the flowery wrapping paper.
From the way that there were barely any creases or tears in the paper, I could tell that he had opened it carefully. After he'd sent that he'd proceeded to type out that he was thankful, showing it by sending out excessive 'thank you's and adorable smiley faces that made my heart soar.
Throughout these days within the week, unsurprisingly during the times where I laid in bed or walked Brown to the park, my thoughts surrounded and swarmed around Cameron Tan. When I was laying in bed, my thoughts wandered to the possibility of him liking me back.
I mean, he held my hand in the closet and said I looked pretty but that could just be him being nice. I did dress up nicely. Curled my hair too, and even brushed makeup on my face. Maybe it was just him being nice and polite, acknowledging that I had made an effort to dress up.
However, there was always a part of brain that would cloud my doubts and dismissive thoughts with fantasies. Fantasies of me walking with Cameron together, hugging, holding hands and... Even as I was shy and embarrassed to admit it, us kissing.
It only made me blush a lot more and thank goodness that I was alone in my bedroom for I would be questioned for my random weirdness that I didn't really want to explain. Then, there were times when I was walking Brown in the park.
I would always think about seeing him again, but due to my excitement, and my obliviousness, I'd always went out earlier and came back earlier than the times that Cameron came. It didn't stop me from searching for him in the park but I'd usually stop by the time I realised I was being a creep.
The other thoughts that distracted me during my free times were the thoughts that made me nervous the most. I'd thought about confessing to him in more than I could count and it always made me jittery.
There were two ways it would go: he would either reject me, probably nicely, telling me that he was only interested in being friends but it would make me feel embarrassed - and maybe even hurt. Or... he would actually like me back and confess to me too, and from there we could slowly work out things together.
But was I willing to take the risk?
It was a fifty to fifty percent chance in both the outcomes and they both made me anxious. Would it be worth it if I tried? I always thought whenever my train of thought led me to the destination of me confessing.
Somewhere in the middle of the week, specifically when my mind was dwelling on the idea of coming clean of my feelings to Cameron, was during a movie night with my parents. The lights were turned off in the living room, leaving on the television as the only colourful and constantly flashing source of light.
Even in that case, I could see what was happening perfectly between both my parents. Their attentions were directed at the television screen which only made it more endearing as my mum absentmindedly leaned towards my father who then reached to wrap his arm around her snuggling her to his chest all while their eyes were both glued on the television.
I stared in astonishment and wondered if they'd gone through a stage like mine right now. Had they, at one point of their lives, been this anxious about whether the other had feelings for them? How did they overcome it?
How was I going to overcome it?
Even with those thoughts, I somehow got entranced by the television again, my attention taken a way from my parents' display of affection. I was distracted somehow all the way until the end of the movie.
My father got up, stretching and yawning. He bade me a good night, pressed an affectionate kiss on my forehead, and travelled up the staircase where he yawned once again. My mum switched off the television and just as I stood up and was about to leave for upstairs as well, she stopped me.
"Is something on your mind?" She asked and instinctively, I froze. "You know you can tell me anything right?"
I relaxed and nodded, smoothening my pymajas down. "Yeah, I know. Thanks mum." I said and she smiled, reaching over to pull me into a hug.
"I can believe that you're so big now." She said, pinching my cheek and releasing me from her hold.
I smiled at my mother's love and in a quick split second decision, I decided to ask her something. It would definitely give her the idea of what had been on my mind lately but I needed some guidance and I knew my mum was a supportive person.
"Mum, how do you know when it's the right time to tell someone you like them?" It was completely and utterly blunt. I could tell that it surprised her by the way her brows rose but she didn't question me. I was thankful for that, if she did, my cheeks would have betrayed me.
"Well," she said, pausing and looking at the cushions on the couch. She bent down to arrange them as she continued speaking. "When I had feelings for your dad, I was completely and utterly terrified. I didn't know if he liked me and all that but I told him anyway.
"The thing about confessing your feelings is that there a good chance they might like you back. I mean, there is a chance that they won't, but how would you find out if you didn't try? It's all about taking the risk even if the outcome isn't something that you don't really want, you know? At least you were brave enough to do it." She finished, reaching to ruffled my hair. "It's getting late, I'm going to bed. If you need anything you can ask me, okay?"
I nodded with a smile and watched as she trudged up the staircase tiredly. I asked asked myself the same question again, was I going to tell him?
Yes.
Yes, I would and it would be in the best way possible so even if he didn't like me back, we would still have fun and at least enjoy what we already had. Even if it wasn't what I was trying for. Like my mum said, at least I gave it try.
And trial sounded way better than regretting about what I could've done but did not do out of fear.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Do you think her try is going to be successful?
Or will it be a failure? ;)
We'll see very soon!
And btw there's just three chapters more before A Rainy Day ends! Omggjsjsjs...how many events do you think I managed to fit in those few numbers? 🤔
Vote or comment and all that jazz and I'll see you on Monday! ;)
