A DARE TO YOU

CHAPTER 11

Kaownah POV.

I'm heading on a bar now where P'No send me the location, he said that my step brother's boyfriend was there.

Chimon is sad and frustrated. I've been witnessing him crying silently while trying to call him. and hearing those heartbreaking hitch of him made me pissed.

not because I am fine with their relationship, doesn't mean that I will not do anything if that guy make Chimon cry. they're not even official yet the tears were hurtful. what's more when it turn official, it'll be worse.

as I reach the bar, P'No assist me at the. entrance and point where Nanon is.

'You fucked up, aren't you?'

I stared at him thoroughly until he's finding who's looking at him. he looks so wasted and it's pity for me to look.

I shook my head as I know that he messed something bad. I'm not a professional psychologist but been reading a lot of people's act. and one of his act is dangerous and irresponsible.

I sat beside him and a girl approach her. he didn't do anything but to stare at his glass even though the girl keeps flirting on him, even kiss him on the cheeks.

how come he didn't feel that? was he so deep on his thoughts? then I think I hit a ball, he messed and fucked up so bad.

I drink my wine before tapping his shoulder. he sighed before he turned his head towards me.

now that I see his face, he's handsome and probably Chimon's like. I shrugged off my shoulders before drinking another glass of wine.

"what do you want?" he asked.

"are you Nanon?" tanong ko rito. I just want to make sure.

he nodded his head then he drink his alcohol too. tinignan ko lang ito and he's so wasted. para bang sa rami ng iniisip niya hindi niya na maalagaan ang sarili niya in those days that he have been avoiding Chimon.

"I heard you're courting someone?"

sorry to meddle but I'll just do what I need to do. and lying is part of it. I'll make sure none of them will be hurt by actions because if so, then fuck myself.

I'm doing this for Chimon. seeing him crying couldn't make me calm and peace. I'll do everything for him even if the consequences was him too.

"how do you know?"

"just heard it from a random students. was his name is Chimon— if I'm not mistaken."

saying my brother's name bother him. umupo ito ng maayos at tinignan ako ng mabuti. it'll not make me feel calm, baka masuntok ko pa 'to.

"what do you want?" galit na tanong nito.

I calm myself first dahil baka masuntok ko nalang 'to bigla. I count before ako mag salita rito.

"chill dude. I'm just asking if it's him."

"yes, it's him. and what it is to you?"

I frown at him at hinarap din ito, "it bothers me."

nag salubong na rin ang kilay nito bago umupo ng maayos at sumandal sa upuan niya.

"and why is that?"

the words that will come to my mouth is my honesty. I know my limits and will stay on my line. kahit gaano ko pa kagusto kung hindi pwede, hindi pwede. line will be line at yun lang ang stop ko patungo sa kaniya.

"because I like him too."

then there I hit a spot and was about to get punch when I said that we'll talk it out.

limitado lang din pasensya ko kaya huwag na sana niyang sagarin sa selfish act niya. hindi sa lahat ng bagay, suntok o physical fight ang sagot sa hindi pag kakaintindihan sa gantong situation.

talk it out and sort it out. kung hindi kaya suntok agad.

pero this time it's not included kasi alam ko ginagawa ko. I'm not doing this for my sake but for my brother's sake and feelings.  kaya kung anuman ang kakalabasan ng bibig ko, ay yun ang totoong nararamdaman ko.

"why" tanong nito kaya tinitigan ko, "why do you like him?"

I sighed and think what I like about Chimon.

it started when we were kids, he was there everytime I'm sad or whatsoever. he accompany me though I pushed him away. he said that he'll never leave me because he loves me.

it started there. when he first said that he loves me. that's when I feel my heart beats faster as I locked my eyes on his. when my brain can't function others words but his name. and the thought of me and him being together makes me want to protect and be selfish when it comes to him.

"just because." saad ko and just shrugs. "how about you?"

Nanon nods along before he drinks his glass of alcohol, "he's my first love."

tumango ako biglang pag-tugon na nakikinig ako. "love that I want to cherish and have." he stop as he look at me, "but also, the love that is risky to cherish."

"how so?"

he shrugs his shoulders before filling up his glass, "he's too high for me. too high to reach and too real to feel real."

"na para bang if I choose to be with him, I'll just bring danger or heartbreaks to him. kahit na gustong-gusto ko makasama siya pero the guts on mine says otherwise."

uminom ito at tumingala. I know that he got teart. damn this guy, can't read it thoroughly.

"mahal ko yung tao pre, kaso naduduwag ako e. gusto ko lagi lang siyang masaya, puro tawa ganon, pero to think of what I've done before I even got a chance to talk to him, is unexplainable."

"I want him to be happy, to feel that he's love. kasi pre, when he shares some of his story, it made me sad. he deserves everything pre, everything that I want to give but too scared to risk and try."

"hindi ko nga alam paano ko siya haharapin ngayon na hindi ako nag pakita sa kaniya ng ilang araw. I know that I've been coward at my actions and I am fully aware, ang hindi ko lang matanggap, bakit hindi ko agad siya nilapitan nung kailangan na kailangan ko ng masasandalan."

then he cried. hearing his story makes me feel at ease. now that I know what he truly feel, I understand him now. he's right. Chimon is a risky opponent to ever risk at. parang hahadlang lahat sayo bago ka makalapit sa kaniya.

and now I know why Chimon loves him. this guy really prove himself na he's better though he's scared. assurance lang kailangan nito at ilalaban nito si Chimon sa kung anuman nasa isip niya na pwede mangyari.

"I know that he's worried about me, but I can't seem to face him now. knowing that he's crying every night because of me, gustong gusto ko na mag wala."

I pat his shoulder and drink my wine.

'talo talaga ako.'

"just go right him and tell him what's on your head. I know for sure that he'll understand you instead of getting mad."

"Chimon might been silence around you but I can assure you that he's just thinking of what can make you happy. he might welcome you in a tight hug instead of a punch haha."

bumuntong hininga ako bago ako tumayo at muli itong tapikin sa balikat.

"pumunta kana habang maaga pa."

Sa puntong umayos lahat sa inyo, aalis na ako't mag hahanap ng para sa sarili ko.