A DARE TO YOU

CHAPTER 13

Chimon POV.

it's ok to pretend that I'm fine in front of him now. if it makes him less nervous and anxious sharing everything, I might consider being fine for real. the things I'll do even it cost me my feelings.

I don't want to ruin what relationship we had. it's just a misunderstanding that need to be understand lalo na't we both are fragile and keep hiding on a mask that plastered on our faces. kami nalang meron ang isa't-isa why would I let him slip and feel the most unwanted feeling?

I'm just hoping for one thing. the thing that it's still me. there's a possibility that in those months he's with me pretending and courting, maybe he realized that he deserves someone much better than me. who can give him a child if he wants too, not me who had nothing to give but my love.

nag lalakad na ako ngayon papunta sa parking lot. he's just behind me and I keep hearing him sighing.

mabigat din sa loob ko lahat ng 'to but I need to— no, we need to sort it out habang maaga pa, habang pwede pa.

to be honest I feel jealous earlier. him being with a girl was a good sight actually. and the way the girl placed her hand on Nanon's arm without him noticing nor feel, I guess she did that before.

I shook my head at my thoughts and face the guy behind me. hindi niya siguro ako napansin that he's still sighing and scratching his nape.

his face looks tired. you can literally read him whole right now. he's been keeping a secret lately and it bothers me. we promised each other that we're not keeping a secrets unless it's necessary. I guess it's necessary for him to keep it.

I shook my head again as he's coming closer and sighed. I hope this talk would led us to be part again.

"what did you bring?" I asked. he startled by my sudden question and look around, I sense that he can't see which car he used so he walk around while keep on pressing the button.

when he saw you it, pumunta na agad kami ron at umalis na agad.

the atmosphere were quite heavy. us being silent is new.  sobrang bigat that I wanted to be drop of just to escape this atmosphere.

I was just looking at the window and and I can sense him taking a glance at me.

I know that his mind is loaded so as mine. I want him to explain and everything and give reasons why he keeps avoiding me. I thought we're on this ride? that no matter what happen we can run to each other and escape the reality. but I guess reality must've chase us and caught us here, to think about those weeks and days that I've been crying over this guy, I truly love him.

proven that my love is genuine and true. I know his intentions is to make me feel happy and let me know that the whole world needs me because I'm a deserving person. I can feel his sincerity but sometimes he's hard to read.

those moments that we've shared is very romantic and domestic for me. I feel like we're husbands when we're at home. he'll be the one in charge on cooking and I'll wash the dishes and we end up cuddling at the kitchen. him hugging me from the back while I wash our dishes. one of my favorite moments that we've shared.

and I remember ho we fight over small things. it's just we're very tired at that moment when I saw how messy my room and there he was, laying down. I throw tantrums and even yelled at him for being messy and we argued. not that he also yells, but more on he's calming me by using his calm tone while arguing with me.

FLASHBACKS

"Nanon!" I've got mad. I'm so mad. pagod na nga ang tao tapos ito pa dadatnan ko?

"what babe?" 

I look at him still lying on the bed while carefully caressing his eyes. base on his actions, kagiging lang nito when I storm out.

"what the hell happened here?!"

he sat up and look at all the mess he have done then he look at me, "I'm sorry. I'll clean it right now."

then he proceed cleaning the room while I'm following him. "why are you mad?" he asked as he noticed my furrowed eyebrows.

"it's because of you!" pasigaw ko rito.

he didn't answer back and just finish what he's doing and when he's done, he sat besides me and face me.

"what did I do, Chi?"

I face him too and send daggers at my stare, "you messed my room!"

"I already say sorry, why are you still mad?"

"because you messed my room!!"

I can't keep my control and I keep on shouting. I know that our neighbors can hear my voice. this is the first time I got mad for real that I burst it out this loud.

I'm just very tired and seeing how mess my room is makes me more tired and down.

"babe I already clean it, why are getting mad at me when it's already clean?"

why is he so calm?  I keep shouting at him even rolling an eyes and throwing punches he's still calm.

"pagod ako tapos ayan dadatnan ko? don't you think how would a tired person feel when he's seeing a dirty room? of course he'll feel down and tired even more, you idiot!"

as I blurted those, Nanon keep quiet and sighed before he leave me alone. and here I am, regretting what I have said. I can feel myself tearing up so I followed him only to witness him cooking.

I was so mad that I can't help but cry and run to him and back hugged him. then I melted right away when he lean and face me.

I look at his eyes and saw how tired it is too. guess I'm being too harsh when he's also tired like me. it guilts me up so I hug him and he hug me back.

"I'm sorry." he says, "sorry for messing up your room.  I fall asleep that's why I didn't clean it when in fact I was about too, but my eyes can't hold longer and it fell into deep slumber. I'm sorry"

I cried. why is this man so calm and understanding. my attitude towards him didn't match how he cared about me more when he also is fucking tired.

can't help anything but to tighten the hug, "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry for being and harsh and shouting you. I just can't bear a dirty place now. I'm sorry"

he pulled away and held my face and wipe my teard, "shh.. that's fine. I'll cook you a sandwich and let's take a rest, hmm?"

I nodded and he's back at cooking while me hugging him from behind.

END OF FLASHBACK.

I smile while remembering those moments. ano kayang mangyayari ngayon now that it's a big misunderstanding between us.

I look at him and he's busy looking at the road. I smile at his sight before looking back at my window.

'whatever happens, I'll still choose to understand you because that's what I promised for.'